


(Baby Boy, You The Shit) That Makes You My Equivalent

by givemesumaurgravy



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fraternity, Anal Fingering, Blow Jobs, Bottom!Even, Bottom!Isak, Coming Out, Drinking, Fights, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Flip-Flop, Frat!Isak, Kissing, M/M, Outing by others, Party, Riding, Smoking, So much kissing, Top!Even, Top!Isak, rival fraternities, slight angst, versatile
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-03-05 08:11:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13383750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/givemesumaurgravy/pseuds/givemesumaurgravy
Summary: Isak is a second year frat boy who knows exactly what to say and exactly who to do to keep anyone from suspecting he’s still hiding in the closet.Then he meets Even and everything becomes fucked, quite literally.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have no explanation other than I'm a slut for fratboy Isak and writing first time sexy adventures. 
> 
> This is what happens when I don't have work on a Monday.
> 
> enjoy!

“Have you seen Eva?”

Isak turns to look at Vilde, who looks concerned and even more high strung than normal.

“No. Jonas?” Isak states, turning to his best friend who just shakes his head.

“I’m not her keeper,” Jonas says, but he lowers his shades down, peeking over them to scan over the party.

“You kind of are, dude,” Mahdi teases.

Jonas just shoots him a sideways glare, and then rolls his eyes. Vilde just looks impatient, and Magnus throws an arm around her to try and soothe her.

“Babe, she’ll turn up. I’m sure she just went to pee—“ Magnus says, but Vilde cuts him off.

“I’ve checked the bathrooms! Only one is in use and it definitely sounds like someone is having sex in there…”

It’s at that point that Isak tunes them out. It’s also at that point that a new group joins the party.

No one else really notices, too wrapped up in their friends, their drinks, or the song, but from where Isak’s perched with his friends on the brick step in front of the fireplace, he’s basically set up so the front door is right in his line of sight.

Isak finally understands the merit to Jonas’ philosophy of always wearing sunglasses at their parties – no one can see who exactly you’re creeping on… which would be… which would be very helpful right now as Isak continues to gawk at the most beautiful man he’s ever seen.

The group consists of six boys and one girl, all laughing and falling over each other. The only blond boy of the group is in the middle, arm around the girl with short, sleek hair. He’s never seen any of them before, which is interesting because their frat has had parties every weekend, and he’s sure everyone in his class as been to one of them at least once.

When Isak refocuses on his friends, he notices Vilde, Magnus, and Jonas are gone, probably in search of Eva to make sure she hasn’t passed out somewhere. Isak turns to Mahdi, noticing he’s also looking at the newcomers.

“Bro, do you know who they are? The group that just came in?” Isak asks as casually as possible.

“Um, sort of. They’re two years ahead of us. They’re Kappas,” Mahdi says, taking a big swig from his beer and Isak understands then why they haven’t seen them around, not only are they older, they’re part of the frat that Sigmas typically rival. 

“Why the hell are they here, then?” Isak asks as all eyes of the group seem to land on Isak and Mahdi at once. 

“They better hope it’s not to start any trouble,” Mahdi says, pushing off the wall. 

Isak can’t stop staring at the tall, blonde, though. As much as he wants to focus on old rivalries and all that bullshit, he can’t think about anything else except that… that… _god among men._

And it’s just… it’s like Isak can feel his world crumbling to pieces around himself. Isak has worked tirelessly to expertly design this facade he has around himself. Isak knows exactly what to say and exactly who to ‘do’ to keep anyone from suspecting he’s still hiding in the closet. 

(And by ‘do’, he means make out with and then let the rumor take a life of its own, spreading around that they did a whole lot more than just sloppily make out for ten minutes).

“It’s probably… fine,” Isak says, scratching his neck and pushing off the wall as well, draining the rest of his beer. “I’m going to find something to drink. Need anything?”  
Mahdi waves Isak off, so Isak heads into the kitchen in search of something stronger than the beers he’s been slowly drinking so far. 

The kitchen is crowded, too crowded for Isak to break into the secret stash of good alcohol without someone noticing. Isak’s just about to turn and head outside in search of someone to bump some weed off of when the boy from moments before enters the kitchen, eyes on him.

“Halla,” The boy says, setting a large bottle of amber-colored alcohol on the counter. “Thought I should bring a contribution since my friends and I are crashing your party.”

“How’d you know it was my party?” Isak asks, trying to remain calm, though he can feel his heart racing.

The boy doesn’t say anything, just points to Isak’s snapback, which Isak realizes has the insignia of his frat on it. 

“Oh,” Isak says. “Right. So we should open this.”

He smiles and nods, reaching for two cups from the counter as Isak grabs the bottle and twists the cap off. Isak is about to take the cups from the boy and pour them each a glass, but then he notices a pair of girls over the boy’s shoulder eying them like they would like to partake in the bottle, and probably the boys’ company, and… Isak isn’t really in the mood to share either of those things. 

“On second thought,” Isak says, grabbing the boy’s wrist. “Follow me.”

Isak turns, taking the bottle and snagging a bottle of chaser and exits the kitchen, throwing a silent prayer up that he will just follow him. Isak makes his way back through the crowded party and up the staircase, fishing his room key out of his pocket. 

Isak stops outside his room, fitting the key in the lock before he dares to turn and see if he’s followed him.  
He has. 

Isak isn’t ready to offer an explanation yet, so he just pushes the door open and holds it for the boy. Once they’re inside, Isak flicks on the light and closes the door, hoping it’s not weird when he turns the lock as well, not really wanting any company or interruptions. Thankfully, he doesn’t question it. 

“I… sorry. I just… sometimes it gets to be too much and… I didn’t really want to share… fuck. That sounds really selfish…” Isak rambles and the boy just laughs lightly.  
“No worries, I totally get it,” The boy says. “I’m Even, by the way.” 

_Oh, right. Names. Names are important,_ Isak thinks.

“Isak,” Isak says, holding up his hand awkwardly, and Even shakes it, sending a thrill through Isak at the simple skin on skin contact. 

Isak jerks his hand away after the quick handshake and turns to make himself comfortable on the bed. “Sorry about the mess, I wasn’t really expecting to have any company.”

Even raises his eyebrows at Isak, “That’s surprising, based on what people say about you.”

The words are harsh, but Even’s tone is light. Isak frowns, though, knowing that his reputation, though carefully planned and cultivated by Isak, is not really the greatest. 

“Yeah, well, you can’t really believe everything you hear,” Isak mumbles, focusing instead on pouring himself a cup of Coke. 

“I agree,” Even says and joins Isak on the bed. “I’m sure you’ve heard some shit about me.”

Isak looks at Even, unable to stop himself from admiring him beautiful face and noticing the hint of sadness there. Isak knows what Even’s referring to, though, though he didn’t connect the name to the person in front of him until Even made that comment. 

_‘He went completely crazy last year. He wrote all this shit all over his Frat house and I even heard that he tried to kill himself afterwards. It’s a miracle they didn’t kick him out.’_

Vilde’s words ring in Isak’s ears as he continues to stare at Even. Even regains his composure quickly, though, turning and grinning at Isak, offering him the bottle. 

“Tell you what, I’ll make it a clean slate if you do as well,” Even says.

Isak grins and nods, adding a couple shots worth of alcohol to his cup and then fixing Even a drink as well. Even thanks him when Isak hands over the cup, and they cheers before each taking a long swig. 

It’s quiet for a bit between them, though the party downstairs is still loud in the room. They continue to sip their drinks in silence until they’re both ready for a refill. 

Even stands as he nurses his second drink, taking in Isak’s room and smiling to himself as he looks at the various memes and posters taped haphazardly to Isak’s wall. 

“You’re a hip-hop fan?” Even asks, pointing to an old NWA CD cover Isak has tacked to his dresser. 

After that, it’s like the floodgates are opened and they pass the next two hours talking. They finish the bottle around the hour and a half mark and Isak pulls out a blunt from his stash and they switch to smoking, Isak cracking the window slightly despite the cold. 

As the clock nears 1:30, Isak and Even find themselves laying on Isak’s bed, the smell of weed thick in the air as they discuss parallel universes, of all things. 

“You don’t find it fascinating?” Isak asks and Even shakes his head, something dark coming over his expression. 

“I don’t. It’s like a ‘The Mind is Alone’ feeling,” Even explains and Isak frowns. “It’s like, it’s just you and your thoughts and the only way to escape it is to die.”

“That’s dark,” Isak says softly, Vilde’s words about Even coming back to him for the second time tonight, making his stomach churn sickly at the thought of the beautiful boy in front of him ever hurting himself. 

Even turns to face Isak, plastering on a smile and shaking his head. 

“I’m only joking,” Even says. 

“I like it,” Isak starts to say. “I like to think there’s a universe out there where I’m braver.”

Even cocks his head, watching Isak carefully. “I think you’re plenty brave.”

Isak shakes his head. “I’m not.”

“What do you mean?” Even asks. 

Isak pauses, licking his lips as he wonders just how much to say. He likes Even, likes him a whole lot more than he can admit, the last few hours only affirming his initial reaction to Even of wanting him, wanting him way more than any other person he’s ever met. 

But. 

But at the same time he’s still so fucking scared to admit it outloud, to possibly destroy everything he’s worked so hard to construct for himself. 

He can’t admit it out loud yet, but the way Even’s looking at him makes him think he could finally start being more brave. 

So Isak does the only thing he can think of and slides into Even’s space and kisses him. 

Even doesn’t react right away, frozen against Isak’s lips and it makes Isak panic. Isak jerks back, worried that he’s just fucked everything up, fucked up the potential of having a new friend, a new… something. 

“Isak,” Even whispers, reaching out and Isak can’t help but flinch away. 

Even presses on, though, and brushes his fingers over Isak’s cheek. Isak frowns, the gesture soft and it makes his stomach flip. Even smiles and Isak looks away, shy under Even’s attention.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t… I wasn’t expecting that,” Even says. “I didn’t mean… can you… can you… can we try it again?” 

Isak bites his lip, but nods. Then he’s leaning in again and pressing his lips to Even’s again and this time… it’s magic. 

Even responds immediately, fingers sliding to Isak’s waist and tugging him closer, his other hand still cupping Isak’s cheek. Isak’s own hands fist in the front of Even’s shirt, wanting him closer and nothing feels like enough. 

Isak parts his lips, silently begging Even to do the same as he traces his tongue over the seam of Even’s lips. Even opens his mouth, his own tongue teasing against Isak’s immediately, making Isak feel hot and needy and just wanting _more._

Isak rolls on top of Even, holding himself up enough so he doesn’t suffocate Even, but still feels the heat of Even’s body, warm and inviting against him. Isak dives in again, kissing Even like he needs it, like he’s suffocating and Even’s his only source of oxygen. 

Isak’s kissed people before, but it’s never felt like this, _nothing_ has. It’s like… it’s like he’s on fire, but it such a good way. He feels desperate, and even though he’s drunk and high, he knows it’s not from the alcohol or the weed. 

Isak never wants to stop touching Even. Every point where their skin connects sends tiny sparks through him, and he can’t fight the way it goes straight to his cock. Isak starts to grind down against Even, legs falling on either side of Even’s hips to give him more leverage. 

Even threads his fingers into Isak’s hair, knocking Isak’s snapback off and tightening his grip into Isak’s curls. Isak moans unable to control himself as he buries his face in Even’s neck. 

“Isak,” Even moans, sliding a hand down Isak’s back and then dipping it under his shirt, pushing it up as he’s tracing his fingers up the notches of Isak’s spine. “Need…”

Isak lifts up to look at Even, resting his hands on Even’s and and he immediately notices how absolutely wrecked Even looks. His hair is a mess, his lips bitten red and swollen, his eyes blown out and pleading. Isak also notices with a gentle roll of his hips that Even is hot and hard against his own achingly hard cock. 

“Are you sure?” Isak asks. “We… we hardly know each other… and I’ve… and I’ve never…”

Even brushes Isak’s curls from his face, cupping his jaw and smiling at Isak. “I want to. I want you.”

“Okay,” Isak says. “I… um, do you… have you…” 

Even shakes his head, biting his lip as he stares back up at Isak, uncertainty and vulnerability flashing across his face. Isak smiles, wanting to laugh at the situation.

“We’ll figure it out together, then,” Isak says. 

“Okay,” Even says, some of his confidence coming back to him as he smiles at Isak. “Do you have…”

“Right, um,” Isak says, dismounting Even and walking over to his dresser. 

Isak rummages around a bit first, finally finding what he’s looking for and bringing it back to the bed. Even doesn’t comment on the box of condoms being unopened, yet the bottle of lube is almost empty. 

“Do you… do you want to… like, go first?” Isak asks, sitting cross legged on the bed and opening the box of condoms. “We could take turns.”

“You can take me first,” Even says. “Like, I can… receive.”

“Okay,” Isak nods, laughing as Even makes a face at the awkward turn to the conversation.

“We should… probably get naked now,” Even says, reaching for Isak and pulling him on top of him again. 

Isak giggles when he falls against Even’s chest and suddenly they’re kissing again. Isak licks into Even’s mouth hungrily, making Even moan and slide his hands down Isak’s back and into the back pockets of his jeans, helping himself to two fistfuls of Isak’s ass. 

It’s Isak’s turn to moan and writhe against Even as he kneads Isak’s ass, getting brave as he tucks one of his hands underneath the waistband of Isak’s jeans. Even squeezes and it makes Isak grind forward again and Even thrusts his own hips up to meet him.

“Iss, I need you naked. Now,” Even says, emphasizing it by tugging harshly on his shirt. 

“You, too,” Isak mumbles, lifting up enough to pop open Even’s pants. 

They fumble and it’s not at all coordinated, but they manage to get each other down to their boxers, managing to laugh at themselves when Even’s shirt messes his hair and Isak’s jeans get caught on his ankles. 

“You’re so fucking hot,” Even breathes, tugging Isak down on him again, meeting his lips in another passionate kiss. 

“Fuck. But have you seen yourself?” Isak practically growls as he moves to Even’s neck, sucking a promising mark into the delicate skin. 

They make out for a few more seconds before Isak reaches down and grips Even through his boxers, making Even bite down on Isak’s lip and moan. Isak squeezes Even and then strokes him over the fabric a few times before he slips his hand inside his boxers and feels the hot length against his skin for the first time and that… that is unlike anything else he’s ever felt. 

He’s like a man possessed then, any fear or anxiety leaving him and in its place come curiosity and endless excitement. Isak lifts up and settles himself so he’s perched atop Even’s thighs and reaches for his boxers and finally frees Even’s cock, which slaps against his bare stomach with a hilariously loud sound. 

“Fuck,” Even mutters, head stretching back against the mattress, hands coming up to rake through his hair and scrub over his face. “You’re going to kill me.”

Isak blushes, shy again and preoccupies himself with the only thing he can think to do and shoves his own hand into his boxers to relieve some of the tension. Even just stares at him for a moment, eyes darkening even more and mouth hanging open slightly. 

“You have no idea, do you?” Even says quietly. “How much of an effect you have?”

Isak bites his lip and looks down, blushing. It’s not like he’s doing it on purpose, really. To be honest he has no idea what the fuck he’s doing. Even lifts up and pulls Isak in for a quick, positively filthy kiss, and then he’s lifting Isak up and off him so he can rid himself of his boxers. 

“I’ve seen enough porn to know the gist of what’s supposed to happen, and I’ve… experimented a little,” Even says, grabbing the lube and opening it. “I’m cool doing this part myself if you don’t want to.”

Isak shakes his head before he can even process fully what he’s committing to by doing so. Even cocks his eyebrows at him and Isak just holds a hand out for the bottle. 

“I’ve done my own research and experimenting, too,” Isak says as confidently as he can manage and Even pecks a kiss to Isak’s cheek in response before settling back on the mattress. 

Even spreads his legs and props his knees up, and Isak settles himself comfortably between them, eyes zeroing in on his target. 

_Even’s pretty,_ Isak thinks, and not just in his face or chest. _Even here he’s pretty,_ Isak thinks with a blush as he takes in Even’s cock, taint, and hole. It’s not something Isak would ever think he would have such a reaction to, but… here he is. 

Isak prepares himself mentally as he pours some lube… too much lube … onto his fingers and traces his clean fingers up and down Even’s thigh, making him shiver. Even has his eyes closed, brow slightly furrowed, and Isak wonders if he’s also trying to mentally prepare himself for what all is about to go down. 

“Um, I’m going to start now,” Isak says, voice feeling jarring in the room, popping the safe little bubble they’d created, and Even’s eyes pop open, surprised, but he nods.

Isak takes a deep breath and then leans forward and teases his slick middle finger over Even’s hole, feeling it clench immediately at the contact. Isak tries not to panic, instead circling a few more times before he begins to push in, biting on his lip at the resistance. 

Isak can hear Even take a few deep breaths and soon it becomes easier to push in and Isak tries not to moan at the feeling of slick heat around his single finger. He holds still until Even reaches one of his hands down and grips Isak’s free hand, squeezing his fingers. 

Isak begins slowly fucking his one finger in and out, slightly curling it after a few times and he starts to feel more confident, confident enough that he begins to press in a second finger. Even seizes up, though, making Isak freeze immediately. 

“Shit, sorry,” Even says, voice slightly shaky. “I’m good. Just… took me by surprise. Proceed.”

Isak can’t though, thoughts swirling in his hand and making him panic that he’s going to hurt Even, a beautiful boy he barely even knows. Even squeezes Isak’s hand that’s still wrapped in his own and Isak licks his lips, breathing in deeply through his nose before he dares look down at Even and meet his gaze. 

“Hey, I’m okay,” Even assures him. “You’re doing really well. Don’t chicken out on me now.”

Isak smiles and nods, shaking himself back into complacency. Isak presses in with both fingers now, holding his breath as Even’s body yields to him and he’s able to push all the way in past the second knuckle. 

Isak tries to remember what he read about finding one’s prostate, something he had tried to search for himself on particularly lonely nights when jerking off wasn’t enough and he would desperately finger himself, hoping to finally feel _something_ that fully satisfied himself. 

Isak starts curling his fingers, pressing in deeper than before until… _there._ Honestly he wouldn’t have really noticed he’d finally been successful if Even hadn’t practically convulsed off the bed and moaned so, so loudly. 

“Shit, yes. _There, there, there,”_ Even moans again and Isak pushes in again, fingers finding the same spot and he starts to rub over it now that he can recognize a small bump to it. 

Even’s grip on Isak’s hand is tight like a vice, and Isak takes that as permission to press in the third while Even is still high on pleasure, head thrown back and mouth open with more silent moans. 

With three fingers in now, Isak alternates between jabs to Even’s spot and spreading them to stretch Even as much as he can manage. Even’s writhing now, a squirming mess as Isak continues to work him. 

Isak realizes with a start when he looks down and sees Even’s angry red, leaking cock that he hasn’t even sucked him yet, and that’s just not acceptable. If he’s going to go all out with this, he really needs to cross ‘give blowjob’ off his Big Gay Bucket List as well tonight. 

So, without much warning, Isak leans down and immediately sucks the head of Even’s cock into his mouth, fingers idling inside him for a moment while he gets his bearings. Isak immediately falls in love with the feeling of having something warm and heavy on his tongue and he gets maybe too ambitious and begins sucking more into his mouth until he’s stuffed full. 

Isak gags, pulling off and regaining his bearings for a moment before easing on again, this time taking it a bit more slowly as he begins to crook his fingers back inside Even. 

Isak begins to focus on his other senses as he can’t really see Even clearly with his head bobbing and instead listens for any sign that anything he’s doing is too much or not enough. Even’s noises become higher pitched, more desperate as Isak continues, and then he’s squeezing Isak’s fingers with near Herculean strength, making Isak pull off and look at Even.

“S-sorry, I just… I don’t want to come yet and any more of that sinful mouth of yours and I was sure as hell going to,” Even says, breathless. “I need you to get in me now.”

Isak nods, not trusting his voice to respond and pulls his fingers out. Even finds the box of condoms and works to get one out, tearing open the wrapper and holding the latex circle out to Isak. 

Isak slides off the mattress and peels off his boxers, sticky with precome and he realizes with a start that he hadn’t really noticed how turned on all this has gotten him and he’s quite amazed that he was able to go that long without touching himself as the desperate need to get off hits him like a truck.

Isak climbs back on the bed and reclaims his position between Even’s trembling thighs. Even hands Isak the condom and Isak rolls it on with shaking fingers, grabbing the lube and coating himself with it. 

It’s not until all the technical things are accomplished that Isak really starts to think about what he’s about to do next - he’s going to have sex with someone. Someone trusts him enough to give themselves to him, give their body and trust that Isak is going to take care of them as he works towards a mutual goal - to get them both off. 

Even breaks Isak out of his trance, asking, “Is this position okay for you?”

Isak blinks at him for a moment before he fully comprehends and then nods. Even pulls his legs back by the backs of his thighs and presents himself to Isak. Isak bites back a moan and shakes himself, finally ready. 

So with that, Isak leans forward and guides himself in, one hand on his cock, the other pressed gently to Even’s hip bone. He goes slow, listening carefully to Even’ sounds and eyes watching for any change on Even’s face, though Even just holds his gaze steady. 

Even covers Isak’s hand on his hip with his own and waits until Isak is buried to the hilt to curl his fingers around Isak’s hand. He holds it for a few moments, and Isak takes that as his signal that he needs time to adjust. When Even lifts his hand and pats Isak’s once, he knows he can begin to move, no words needed.

It’s quick after that, quick how Isak gets wrapped up in it, in the delicious heat of Even’s body and the sweet sounds he makes. He becomes a man obsessed, obsessed with trying to make different sounds come out of Even, obsessed with finding that spot that will make him go crazy. 

It only takes a few more angled thrusts before Even’s arching off the bed and begging Isak to _‘please, please fucking do that again’._ Of course, Isak obliges.

Eventually, Isak gets tired and Isak falls forward and covers Even’s body with his own, unable to continue without kissing the desperate look off Even’s face and tasting the need on his tongue. His thrusts turn into a slow roll of his hips, grinding into Even and still making him whine against Isak’s mouth, Isak swallowing every sound he makes. 

Even grips Isak’s hair, tugging on it until Isak lifts up and meets Even’s eyes and Even whispers, “I’m close.”

“Don’t come yet,” Isak says, snaking a hand down between their bodies and circling his fingers around the base of Even’s cock. “I want you to get inside me first.”

Even moans, grabbing Isak by the back of the neck and hauling him in for a filthy kiss before Isak pulls out and tears off the condom, grabbing a tissue and wrapping it up. Even doesn’t move yet, chest still rising with heavy breaths when Isak finds the lube and recoats his fingers, greedily shoving in two fingers, praying he’s still loose from when he fingered himself in the shower before the party. 

His position is awkward, kneeling up between Even’s thighs and reaching behind himself, fingers curling and straining inside his willing body. It’s not pleasurable, really, though he supposes it’s not supposed to be. Right now this is just about getting himself ready for Even, ready for the good part. 

He presses in the third before he’s ready, and it hurts, but he tries not to let it show as Even finally focuses on him, hand reaching up and brushing Isak’s curls off his face. Isak smiles as he tries to spread his fingers, finally grimacing at the burn. 

“Don’t push yourself, baby,” Even says. “Want me to…?” 

“No, no, I’m good. I just want to get on with it,” Isak says and Even frowns. “Not like that! I just mean I want you in me, like now.”

Even groans, grabbing Isak’s hips and helping him straddle Even’s hips. Isak bends and kisses Even, giving himself just a few more seconds before he can’t take it anymore.

“I’d quite like to ride you,” Isak says, sliding his fingers out of himself and finding the box of condoms again.

Isak busies himself with getting the condom opened, though it’s a challenge with his lube slick fingers, and then rolls it onto Even, stroking him a few times for good measure. Isak shifts forward and then reaches behind himself and holds Even steady as he slowly eases himself down.

It burns, but in a new and different way. It’s not… bad, it’s… it’s honestly almost _good._ Isak holds his breath and waits until he’s fully seated and then assesses the situation. It feels good, he decides, having Even’s hot and hard length buried inside him. And the look on Even’s face is priceless, like he’s nanoseconds from coming just from having Isak sit on his dick.

“Can you, um…” Even says, then he’s reaching for Isak’s snapback he finds somewhere on the mattress and gently places it back on Isak’s head. “There.”

Isak blushes, biting his lip before carefully giving his hips a minute thrust, testing the waters before he decides he should try really giving it a go. Isak lifts up, hands on Even’s chest, and then falls back down, moaning at the feeling.

Isak knows he’s not going to last long, that this is all going to be over fall too quickly now, but he still does everything he can to make this as good as be possibly can. Isak arches his back and bounces up and down, bracing himself with a hand behind himself on Even’s thigh, moaning each time the head of Even’s cock brushes against something inside him that sends shivers down his spine. 

“So good, baby boy,” Even says, holding onto Isak’s hips to steady him.

Isak throws his head back, moaning and not caring how he sounds when he whispers, “Say it again.”

Isak tilts his head to meet Even’s eyes and nods, licking his lips, pleading. Even smiles, lifting to haul Isak in by the back of the neck and delicately placing a string of kisses along Isak’s cheek to his ear. 

“Baby boy,” Even whispers, lips pressed directly to Isak’s ear, making him shiver bodily. 

“Shit, I’m gonna come,” Isak moans, hand flying to his cock as he buries his face in Even’s neck. 

“Me, too,” Even gasps. “Come with me, yeah?”

Isak nods frantically, mouthing sloppily at Even’s neck as he continues to grind his hips until he’s on the brink. It’s all happens so quick, Isak’s mind blurry as he feels his orgasm take over his body and hold it hostage as he also feels Even jerk inside him, filling the condom as he whispers soft, sweet nothings in his ear. 

Isak knows it’s supposed to be good, but he’s pretty sure no one else has come that hard in their lifetime. 

Isak subconsciously keeps rolling his hips, trying to prolong his orgasm without really realizing it. Even’s petting his hair, snapback having fallen off at some point again and Isak just wants to live in this moment forever. 

Eventually, though, Isak’s other senses come back to him, and she starts to feel uncomfortable having Even inside him still and he feels sticky with come and sweat.

Isak lifts up, Even maneuvering to help him get up and off him. Isak flops down on the bed and Even gets up on shaky legs to dispose of the condom and he brings some tissues back to bed and gently cleans Isak and his chests. 

“I don’t think I can move,” Isak whispers, breathing still heavy as he wipes sweat from his forehead. 

Even laughs, turning to look at Isak who also rolls his head to smile at Even. Even lifts a finger and traces over Isak’s lips, Isak bravely poking his tongue out to playfully lick it. Even continues to trace Isak’s facial features, like he’s mapping it to remember later. 

“I’m pretty sure it’s not supposed to be that good,” Isak whispers, holding his breath as he waits for Even’s reaction.

Even smiles, head shaking a little. “I’m pretty sure you’re right.”

“Stay,” Isak requests, wanting to touch Even, but scared he’ll spook him. “Please.”

Even grins, then, immediately calming Isak’s every nerve as he hauls Isak up in his arms and brings him to his chest. 

“Are you kidding? I’m thinking we nap a little and then go for round two.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Isak wakes up to an empty bed. 

At first it feels normal, Isak typically wakes up alone. Nothing is strange about this situation.

Then Isak remembers not going to sleep alone.

He blinks a few times, then sits up and searches the bed, not really sure what he’s expecting to find, but is still disappointed when he comes up empty handed. Isak rubs his eyes and flops back down on the bed with a groan, head pounding. 

Isak falls back into a fitful sleep for another hour or so, finally deciding to emerge from his room and check on the damage to the house from last night’s party. Isak throws on some sweats and a hoodie, also scavenging his snapback from the floor before stepping out of his room into the quiet hallway. 

It’s approaching 13:00, but most of Isak’s brothers are still sequestered in their rooms, probably nursing hangovers. Isak makes his way downstairs and finds Eva there wearing a pair of Jonas’s sweatpants and his Sigma sweatshirt. 

Eva raises her coffee mug to him when she notices him approach, looking too hungover to formulate a true greeting. Isak nods in recognition and Eva grabs a mug for him from the cupboard. Isak drops a kiss to her cheek in thanks as she fills it with coffee and hands it to him. 

“You disappeared early last night,” Eva asks as Isak settles himself on top of the counter.

“I can say the same for you,” Isak replies, squinting his eyes at her and hoping to avoid the underlying question to her statement.

Eva rolls her eyes. “I was in Jonas’ room. I was under the impression that we were _both_ going to be there, but he apparently did not understand my signals.”

Isak laughs and honestly they should have all guessed that knowing how frisky Eva gets when she drinks. 

“Now, don’t think you’ve avoided giving me an explanation,” Eva says, smile on her lips as she narrows her eyes at Isak. “When I rejoined the party around midnight you were nowhere to be found. Explain, please.”

Isak rolls his eyes, hoping it comes off like he’s playing it off like it’s nothing. Eva continues to glare at him until he finally cracks and sighs, realizing he should probably just give her what she wants.

“Honestly, Eva, what do you think happened?” Isak says, rolling his eyes. 

Eva grins wider, eyebrows shooting up. “I think my platonic best boy got himself some last night.”

“You’re not wrong,” Isak says, because, well, she isn’t.

“Was it Emma?” Eva asks. 

‘No,” Isak says, forcing himself not to cringe at the mention of her name.

“Sara, then? Little flashback to first year?” Eva asks, wriggling her eyebrows. 

“No, Eva, seriously,” Isak says. 

“Who, then?” Eva presses.

Isak sighs, fixing her with a look and then mutters, “No one you know.”

“Was she good?” Eva asks and Isak nearly chokes on his sip of coffee at her boldness. 

“Honestly, Eva. I don’t want to discuss this with you right now,” Isak says and turns to head back upstairs. 

“Oh my God! She’s still here, isn’t she? Should I fix you another cup for you to take to her?” Eva calls after Isak as he flips her off over his shoulder and continues walking.

Isak makes it back up to his room and sits back on his bed until he finishes his coffee. The coffee helped, but Isak still feels a dull throb in the back of his skull, so he decides to go back to sleep, knowing that he’ll need to kill this hangover before he can even think about drinking again tonight. 

**~*~*~**

Theoretically, Isak understood when he joined a frat that partying was part of the package deal. And sure, Isak loves himself a good party, but when you’re on an academic scholarship to university, you kind of need to reset your priorities. 

Isak works his butt off. He holds himself to a strict study schedule and never lets being in a frat interfere with his academics. If that means he needs to skip a party here or there, then so be it. 

But… but Isak’s never had an Even to think about or add to the equation. 

(Not that he ‘has’ Even, but still.)

Isak knows he should take it easy tonight at the party, maybe just show his face, have a beer, and then dip early so he can get a good night’s sleep and hit the library first thing in the morning. 

But. 

But Isak hasn’t heard from Even (not that he realistically could, seeing as they hadn’t exchanged numbers) and he really just wants to see him again. 

Okay, if Isak’s being honest with himself, it’s so much more than that. It’s like… it’s like his body _aches_ for Even, aches for his touch and aches for the sound of his voice. It’s honestly quite disturbing, but Isak can’t help it. Doesn’t want to. 

He would give just about anything to breathe the same air as Even again, and it hasn’t even been 24 hours. 

So, Isak pre-games with his brothers, taking it easy at first, then his nerves start to get the best of him and he chases them down with more beer. Jonas, best friend that he is, notices that Isak is quieter than normal, and says something.

“Everything good?” 

Isak plasters on a nonchalant expression and nods. “Just got a lot on my mind, I guess. I have a big Bio test this week and I’m stressing about that.”

Which is not untrue, but still. It’s not his main concern.

“You’ll be fine. You always pull it out in the end,” Jonas assures him. 

“I hope so,” Isak nods and smiles, hoping he’s convinced Jonas enough at least so he won’t ask him about it again. 

Jonas doesn’t pry, but Isak knows by the look on Jonas’ face that he’s not fully convinced. They turn their attention back to the drinking games going on and Isak stays quiet for another hour, too wrapped up in his own head. 

By 22:30, the party is starting to rev up and Isak is bordering on the edge where he either needs to quit drinking now or fully commit to getting hammered if he drinks any more. Eva, as usual, is three drinks ahead of everyone else, and she’s with the rest of the girls tonight. 

Isak makes eye contact with Sana who gives him a look, so he decides to go over and save her from whatever shenanigans Eva and Vilde are getting up to.

“You look like you’re searching for someone,” Sana says in her way of greeting. 

“I’m not,” Isak denies, but Sana just looks at him in the way she does and he immediately back tracks. “Fine. Maybe a little.”

“Is it Even?” Sana asks and Isak freezes.

“What?” Isak asks, mind whirring.

“Even? My brother’s friend?” Sana clarifies. 

Isak just continues to stare at her, not connecting the dots yet as to how she would know anything about Even’s connection to Isak. 

“I saw the two of you go into your room together last night when I came out of the upstairs bathroom,” Sana says and Isak slowly nods, completely panicked. 

Sana watches Isak carefully, and it must show on his face how completely shaken he is by someone knowing about this because Sana smiles and lowers her voice when she speaks again, tone soft and completely non judgemental. 

“Isak, if you’re not ready for anyone to know anything, then I know nothing. Let me just say this, I know Even well. He’s a good person. I just… I want you to be careful because of Sonja.”

“Sonja?” Isak asks, voice strained and stilted. 

Sana nods and licks her lips before saying, “Yes, Sonja. Even’s girlfriend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha yess thank you for all the love on the original post of this! I'm a slut for comments, so here we are with more to this story! 
> 
> lemme know where you see this going ;)


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

After Sana dropped that bomb on Isak at the party, Isak had made his excuses to his friends and gone upstairs to fall into a fitful sleep. 

There were so many thoughts and feelings swirling around in Isak’s head. He felt like he was becoming everything he never wanted to be. 

First there’s the whole sleeping with a boy thing.

Then there’s the whole sleeping with someone who’s in a relationship thing.

Isak couldn’t help but hate himself. 

By the time morning came, Isak had resolved to push everything deep down and not think about any of it as he instead threw himself into his studying. Thankfully, Isak finds biology to be the perfect distraction.

Isak spends all of his Sunday in the library and only takes breaks to eat or get a coffee refill. He keeps at it until it’s way past sundown and he can barely keep his eyes open. 

Isak makes it back to the house close to midnight and finds many of his brothers in the living room playing FIFA and casually drinking some beers. Isak greets them, but doesn’t stay, wanting only to crawl into bed and sleep. 

Isak climbs the stairs and walks down the hall, mentally going through everything he has going on tomorrow and making sure he’s fully prepared. He’s so wrapped up in his own world that he doesn’t really pay attention when he turns on the light in his room and sets down his bag, already starting to strip down when he hears someone greet him. 

“Isak.”

Isak nearly jumps out of his skin and whips around to face the very person he’s been so desperate to hear say his name again.

“Even,” Isak says, shocked. “What… what are you doing here?” 

Even stands, carefully making his way to Isak and steps into his space, hovering, but not touching. Isak inhales carefully, so tempted to his close the space between them, but a single word flashing through his mind stops him. _Sonja._ Then more: Taken. Not mine. 

Isak lifts his gaze to meet Even’s, and when he notices how tortured Even looks he caves. Isak tilts his chin, angling up and begging Even to meet him halfway, give him some sort of sign that he’s not alone in this. 

The second Even starts to lean in, Isak brings his hand up to cup Even’s cheek, tingling with excitement at the contact and then their lips meet for a brief moment and it’s like everything slides back into place, like Isak’s world is back to spinning on its axis again.

Then it halts abruptly as Even pulls back leaving Isak wanting so much more. Isak tries to chase after his lips, but Even stops him with a hand on his chest. 

“I talked to Sana. She told me what she told you,” Even says and Isak bends forward, pressing his forehead to Even’s chest, unable to look at him without the guilt swallowing him whole.

“You should have been the one to tell me,” Isak whispers, not trusting his voice to speak at full volume. “Why didn’t you?”

Isak feels Even sigh, his arms wrapping around Isak’s back and rubbing up and down slowly. Isak closes his eyes and waits for Even’s reply, hoping it won’t bring him any more pain than he already feels. 

“We haven’t been good for awhile,” Even says. “It’s been just a matter of time before we finally bite the bullet and end it.”

Isak pulls back and looks up at Even, frowning. “What was I, then? Just someone to use as an excuse to finally end it with her?”

“No!” Even says, rather forcefully, cupping Isak’s face in his hands, thumbs tracing his cheekbones. “You had nothing to do with her. What I feel for you, it’s different… it’s stronger than anything I have ever felt for anyone. Being with you… I feel alive again for the first time in a long time.”

“Are you still with her? It’s not easy for me to just pretend it’s all okay just because you showed up here,” Isak says bravely, though on the inside he’s melting from Even’s words. 

Even licks his lips, the flash of guilt on his face telling Isak everything he needs to know. 

“We can’t, then,” Isak says, but Even leans in and starts kissing his neck. “We… we shouldn’t…” 

Isak’s losing his resolve, his words having no strength or authority to them as Even continues his ministrations. Even kisses up Isak’s neck and then takes Isak’s earlobe between his teeth. 

“Ah, fuck it,” Isak says and then next thing he knows, they’re falling into bed together.

**~*~*~**

Isak was lucky with Sara. 

Sara and Isak had dated a little over a year ago and it was pretty much the ideal situation. All Isak had to do was listen to Sara bitch about her sorority sisters and make out with her at parties. Both things he could do and it’s not like either was all that bad. He mostly went over his chem notes in his head whenever they were together, pausing to smile and hum at all the appropriate moments. 

With Emma, though, Isak is quickly learning he has probably made a mistake. 

Isak had hoped it would be easy - publicly make out with some seemingly cool first year at a party to solidify his rep for the year and he’d be good for a while. 

What he didn’t anticipate though was that she would be so damn _clingy._

Ever since their little… whatever the fuck that was, Emma’s been blowing Isak up with invites and cornering him after classes to hang out. Isak tries to play off vague and distant, but chick’s not taking a hint. 

And really, Isak should have anticipated it better at this point when Emma stops him outside the library on Wednesday and asks him to accompany her to her sororities Halloween party. 

Without a valid excuse ready, Isak agrees, knowing the boys will give him crap if he turns down an invitation and chance to get a foot in the door at Delta’s biggest party of the year. Emma ends the conversation with a promise to send him matching thematic costume ideas and, truly, Isak wants to throw up right then and there. 

And if one unexpected encounter wasn’t enough, Isak bumps into Even next, quite literally. 

“Oof, sorry,” Isak says, not realizing initially who he’s ran into, then he looks up and blushes. “Oh, halla.”

“Halla,” Even says, smiling shyly at Isak. “Girlfriend?”

Isak furrows his brows, then realizes that Even must be referring to Emma and shakes his head vehemently. “No, just… fuck I don’t even know.”

“I see,” Even says, nodding and rocking on the balls of his feet. 

“She was just inviting me to the Delta Halloween party,” Isak says. “I think it’s lame, but my friends will all want to go, so I figure… might as well suck it up and go, too.”

“I’ll be there,” Even says and Isak can’t help the way his face lights up at that. 

“Oh?” Isak says.

“Yeah, Sonja’s a Delta and she’s invited me to go with her…” Even explains, suddenly extremely interested in his shoes as he gently kicks at a rock on the sidewalk.

“Oh,” Isak says dumbly, not knowing what else to say because _I thought you were done with her._

“She’s… she’s having a hard time, you know, with us… with us not being an ‘us’ and I… I don’t really know what to do. I figured there wasn’t any harm in going with her as… as _friends…”_

“Sure, whatever,” Isak says, brushing it off, but still hoping it doesn’t come off too rude. 

“Isak…” Even tries, but Isak stops him, shaking his head and forcing on a smile.

“Really, Even. You don’t owe me any sort of explanation. I get it. See you Friday,” Isak says, tone short, clipped, and then he’s walking away without a second glance.

But if he had looked back, he would have seen Even watching him as he walked away, eyes sad and head hanging low in disappointment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another short chapter, but I think there's some good, yet angsty stuff going on here to hold ya over until the next update ;)
> 
> thank you for all the love and support so far! 
> 
> <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hellooooo beautiful people! 
> 
> it's been too long, so here's a longer chapter to make up for it!

**Chapter 4**

_Cat and Mouse?_

_Mickey and Minnie Mouse?_

_Sandy and Danny?_

_Batman and Batgirl?_

_Angel and Devil?_

The messages keep coming, and Isak has to throw his phone on his bed and ignore it before he screams. Emma is taking clingy to a whole new level and Isak just can’t deal. 

He’s just about to give up and leave his room all together when there’s a knock on his door. Isak stands up and opens it, relieved to find that it’s just Jonas standing there. 

“Hey,” Jonas says in greeting, coming in and sitting down on Isak’s bed, immediately making himself comfortable. “Wanted to see if you’d like to take a study break with me and get some food before I have my night class.”

Isak nods, grateful for a distraction when he hears the faint buzzing coming from his phone again. Jonas frowns, standing up and picking Isak’s phone up from where he was just sitting. 

“Dude,” Jonas says, clearly unable to not see the rather large influx of messages. 

Isak holds up his hands in surrender, “I can’t take it, bro. Throw it out the window or something.”

Jonas just looks at Isak for a moment, then sets the phone back on the bed. “What’s the deal with you two, anyways? I thought you were into it.”

Isak turns back to his desk, distracting himself with organizing the papers he had spread out as he thinks of the right thing to say to just explain it away in the vaguest way possible. Jonas is is best friend, they tell eachother everything, but lately… lately Isak has been holding back. 

“I’m just getting… psycho vibes from her,” Isak says, shrugging and shaking his head. “I just want to get through tomorrow and then I can find some valid reason to end it.”

“I know Mahdi and Magnus would say something different, but you don’t have to put up with her just so we can go to this party. Eva is friends with Iben, I’m sure we could get an invite that way…,” Jonas says, but Isak turns around and stops him.

“No, it’s fine. It’s just one more night,” Isak says. 

Jonas looks at Isak carefully, like he knows more than either of them are willing to admit out loud. Isak sighs and steps towards the bed, holding out his hand and Jonas picks up the phone and hands it to him.

“Good, God,” Isak groans, reading through the messages. “What are you and Eva dressing up as? I need something that doesn’t scream cheesy couple.”

“You know Eva, she loves any excuse to dress up,” Jonas says. “It’s not really my deal, but I love her, so. We’re doing a good cop bad cop thing.”

“Let me guess, she’s going to be bad cop so she can wear something scandalous,” Isak laughs and Jonas smiles. 

“Obviously,” Jonas says, mock seriously. “What about Caesar and Cleopatra? It’s couple-y enough for her, but still independent enough for you.”

“Sounds perfect, thanks,” Isak says and then quickly types that idea and sends it to Emma. 

The typing bubbles pop up almost immediately, and Isak holds his breath as he waits for her response, hoping this can be the end of the conversation for now. 

_OMG I love that idea!_

_You’re so creative, Isak._

_Seriously. Perf._

_Want to go shopping together later?_

_I know this great costume shop close to campus. Mari and Leah got their costumes there and they are SO adorable._

_What do you think?_

Isak groans again and then takes a deep breath before responding: _So sorry, but I have a huge test tomorrow I need to study for. Can you pick something out for me? Nothing crazy. Maybe just a laurel wreath? I have red sheets I can make a toga out of._

Emma takes a bit longer this time to respond, and Isak assumes it’s because she’s probably disappointed he shot her down. She finally responds with a simple: _sure. I can do that._

Then another message comes through, complete with heart-eye emojis: _I’ll send you pics of some options for me!_

Isak rolls his eyes and pockets his phone without responding. Jonas chuckles to himself and Isak shoots him a glare. As his best friend, he really shouldn’t be getting this much enjoyment out of Isak’s pain and suffering.

They leave to get some food shortly after that and Isak forgets about Emma completely, that is, until she starts flooding him with pictures of every viable costume in the entire shop. Isak nearly throws his phone in the river on their way back to the frat house.

**~*~*~**

It’s the night of the Delta party, and Isak hadn’t found a solid excuse as to why Emma shouldn’t come over to the Sigma house and pregame with them, so here Isak is, quickly shotgunning two beers with Magnus in his room before she arrives so he can be in a headspace to handle her company.

“So who’s going to get lucky tonight?” Magnus asks, dropping his now empty can on the ground, making Isak frown at his lack of manners. 

“There’s a recycling bin literally right there, dude,” Isak scolds him and Magnus just smiles before picking up his can and dropping it in the proper bin. 

“You didn’t answer my question. Are you thinking tonight’s finally the night to seal the deal with Emma?” Magnus asks, eyebrows wiggling.

“Nah, man,” Isak says, shaking his head. “I think tonight will be the last night.”

“What?” Magnus exclaims. “Bro, she’s so hot, though.”

Isak rolls his eyes. “There’s more than being hot that matters, Magnus.”

Magnus just stares at Isak for a moment, like he doesn’t really comprehend that fact. Isak just shakes his head again and changes the focus to Magnus.

“What about you and Vilde, huh? Think tonight has anything special in store for you?” 

Isak typically doesn’t like to willingly open a conversation about Magnus’s sex life, as he is known to openly overshare at any given time, but right now Isak is kind of desperate to get the attention off of his conquests, so he figured this was the lesser of two evils and at least with Magnus, he can go in knowing it’s going to be awkward and he can brace himself for it. 

“Oh fuck, dude. I didn’t tell you?” Magnus laughs, overly excited expression on his face. 

Isak instantly regrets everything and shakes his head, preparing himself mentally for what could possibly come out of Magnus’s mouth next. 

“Oh, man. I can’t believe I haven’t filled you in!” Magnus says, slapping himself on the head. “So Vilde and watched the first two _Fifty Shades_ movies and I told her about that dream I had last year about her before we got together and --” 

Isak throws his hands up and cuts Magnus off. “I’m going to have to stop you right there. I really don’t need to hear about you making your sado-dreams come true.”

Magnus gives Isak a very lewd grin and wiggles his eyebrows at him. “It’s going to be epic, bro.”

“And on that note,” Isak says, picking up a fresh beer and opening it before unlocking his door and swinging it open to head downstairs. 

Isak waits for Magnus to follow him, then locks his bedroom behind him. When they get downstairs, the main space is half full with their brothers and their dates for the evening, some decked out in more elaborate costumes than others. Isak is happy to find himself somewhere in between, not as done up as the vampire couple, but at least more dressed up than the guy in a jack o lantern t-shirt.

Emma is there already with her friend Leah. She squeals and hurries over to Isak when she spots him. Isak takes a very long sip from his beer and then plasters on a smile when Emma reaches him. 

Emma looks nice, actually, on a purely platonic, impartial level. Her costume is nice and flattering, an if Isak was into girls at all, he would definitely be interested in her tonight.

“You look great,” Isak says genuinely and Emma gives him a hug.

“You, too,” Emma replies, and then places a gold laurel wreath on top of Isak’s head. “Even better now.”

Isak smiles in thanks and then Emma takes his hand, pulling him over to the beer pong table. Isak feels relaxed, he’s with his brothers, he’s got a third and fourth beer coursing through his system. It’s good, this… tonight’s going to be good. 

Before Isak knows it, they’re packing up leftover beers and heading over to the Delta house. Emma grabs Isak’s hand and Isak lets her.

It’s just nearing 23:00, and the party’s in full swing when they arrive. Isak feels in his element. He’s not really an extroverted partier, he’s more quiet observer, but he feels comfortable when he’s a few beers deep and surrounded by people. He has no worries or cares. 

And then he spots Even.

He’s with Sonja, posted up by the fireplace, a huge grin on his face and he looks happy. Isak stops in his tracks.

And _of course_ Even would be dressed up like God. That's just perfect. Although the angel costume doesn't exactly seem to be fitting for Sonja, but who is Isak to judge, he doesn't even know her. 

The song changes and Emma bounces excitedly, grabbing Isak’s arm and pulling him to the dance floor. Isak keeps his attention mostly trained on Even, positioning himself so that he can keep an eye on Even and Sonja as they also join the crowded floor. 

Emma wraps her arms around Isak’s shoulders, stepping closer to him and sending him _very_ clear signals that she wants to be kissed. Isak places his hands on her thin waist, feeling a little awkward. He can’t help but notice how comfortable and natural Even and Sonja look together. 

Then Isak’s heart plummets to his stomach as Even leans in and kisses Sonja. 

So Isak makes what seems like the only logical decision and gives Emma what she wants, pressing forward and kissing her. 

It’s… it’s fine. Really. Isak’s been here before, and he just focuses on moving his lips against hers and trying not to freak out when Emma parts her lips and sticks her tongue in his mouth. 

Isak gets bored, though, after a moment, and slowly opens his eyes. As a result of some sort of twisted magnetism, Isak immediately focuses on Even and his stomach twists at the sight of him full on making out with Sonja. 

Isak doesn’t know why, maybe because of some deep seeded masochism, but he continues to watch Even stick his tongue down Sonja’s throat. He feels like he’s in hell, and he prays to a God he doesn’t believe in to do something, send him some sort of sign that he’s somehow fallen into a weird alternate universe. 

Then Even’s eyes open and it sets fire to Isak’s skin. Even’s still kissing Sonja and Isak is still kissing Emma, but… but it’s like despite that, Even’s… Even’s practically eye fucking him. 

And Isak can’t deal. 

He knows it’s rude and he _knows_ he’s being childish, but he doesn’t care. Isak breaks the kiss and without an explanation, promptly leaves the house. 

Isak realizes when he gets outside what it must look like - like he left because he’s some lightweight and ran away to get sick. Isak sighs and sits down on the ground, leaning up against one of the trees in the backyard. He wishes he had a beer, or really something stronger to help erase everything that just happened.

Isak’s not sure how long he sat out there, but eventually he’s not alone anymore. At first, he wonders if he really drank more than he thought, because why would Even be standing on the back porch, whisper-calling his name?

Isak blinks a few times, rubbing his eyes, but Even’s still there. Even spots Isak and starts making his way over to him. Isak feels frozen, though he’s not exactly sure why. Even doesn’t speak, just sits down next to Isak, takes off his bushy fake beard and lights up a joint. 

Even takes a long drag and then holds it out to offer it to Isak. Isak carefully takes it, trying his best not to touch Even because he knows if he does, even one small brush of skin and it would all be over. 

Isak brings the joint to his lips and inhales deeply, holding the acrid smoke in his lungs as long as he can before letting it out in a slow breath. He delicately hands the joint back to Even and Even whispers a quiet thanks. 

“We should talk about it,” Even says after a few more passes of the joint. 

Isak sighs, closing his eyes. “There’s nothing to say.”

“Isak…,” Even says and Isak clenches his jaw. “Iss, please.” 

“What, Even? You can’t… you can’t do this to me. It’s not fair. You can’t… you can’t sleep with me, then tell me you don’t feel right with your girlfriend anymore, sleep with me again, then show up here, with her, then… then make out with her right in front of me and… and… and then look at me like that with your tongue down her throat!”

Even nods, licking his lips slowly. Isak tries to calm himself down, realizing that his heart is pounding and he’s breathing too fast. Even stays quiet for a bit, long enough for Isak’s breathing to return to normal and for him to start to doubt that Even is going to say anything at all.

But then he does speak.

“I’m sorry,” Even says. “And… I know that’s not good enough. You deserve… so much better than this. I’m sorry I’m not… I’m sorry I can’t seem to do this right.”

“Don’t, okay? It’s fine,” Isak says, hands up in surrender.

Isak makes moves then to start getting up, but Even grabs his arm and stops him. Isak freezes, breath hitching as he turns to look at Even, the look on his face completely disarming. 

“Don’t go,” Even whispers, voice fragile. 

“Even… I can’t… I can’t do this with you,” Isak says, shaking his head. “It hurts too much.”

The last part was quieter, not a lot of fight behind it, as Even started nodding slowly and leaning in, closing in on Isak’s lips. And then they’re kissing. 

Isak feels frozen again for a moment, before he completely melts into it. Isak is so wrapped up in the kiss he doesn’t hear the back door slide open again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could say I'm sorry for the cliff hanger... but I'm not ;) 
> 
> who do you think came outside? also, are they going to spot Isak&Even or will something else happen?
> 
> any and all predictions of what will happen next are welcome and encouraged! :)
> 
> sending love to you allll


	5. Chapter5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> very angsty chapter, this one is. I also don't really know how I feel about it, mostly because I don't know if I like how Isak comes off in this chapter, but I've been staring at it for days and I just need to get it out there I guess. 
> 
> lemme know what you think!

**Chapter 5**

Isak wakes up the next morning and thanks night-before Isak for chugging that water bottle before going to sleep because his hangover is practically nonexistent.

Isak rubs his eyes and rolls over, searching for his phone which he spots miraculously plugged in over on his desk. Man, night-before Isak really had his shit together. 

Isak’s not ready to move just yet, so he instead snuggles back under the covers and absentmindedly rubs his fingers over his lips, remembering how good it felt to have Even’s against his last night when they were sitting under the tree behind the Delta house. 

They had kissed for quite some time, too wrapped up in each other to think about much else. They finally broke apart when they reached a point where they would either need to slow down or risk possible indecent exposure charges. 

They gathered themselves and headed back into the house with no more than soft giggles exchanged between them only to find that the party was being broken up by the police. 

They had quickly backed out the way they came and Even offered to give Isak a ride back to his house on his bike. Isak had grinned the whole way back, imagining just how ridiculous they looked, God and Julius Caesar, riding tandem on a rickety one seater bike through the streets in the middle of the night. 

Even had dropped him off after taking the long way back to the Sigma house, which Isak noticed, but didn’t mind. Isak had thanked him for the ride and then went into the house without more than an awkward wave and the butterflies in his stomach. 

Isak hadn’t thought about Emma once, until now the morning after. He vaguely hoped that she had gotten home okay, and he figured he should probably text her and check in. He probably should also ask her to meet up today, and end this once and for all. 

Before Isak can start making moves to get his phone, there’s aggressive knocking on his door and then Magnus is barging in.

“Dude, what the fuck?” Isak practically shouts, shooting up in his bed and throwing his hands up. 

“I’m here to ask you the same thing!” Magnus says, shit eating grin on his face and, fuck, he looks way too fucking pleased with himself for this time of day. “Care to explain what the fuck this is?”

Magnus hops over to Isak’s bed and settles himself comfortably on the edge, close enough to Isak so he can show him something on his phone. Isak groans and resigns to look at what Magnus is showing him, assuming it’s probably porn or, please God no, some sort of homemade video. 

It’s not, though, and Isak’s stomach immediately sinks as he recognizes the blurry scene on the screen from the red sheet fashioned into a toga and gold laurel wreath upon on of the participant’s heads. 

Isak would give anything for the video to have been porn, even the really intense kinky kind Magnus likes to watch. 

Isak can’t breathe. Can’t think. He feels his skin flaming and crawling as he tries to come up with something, anything he could possibly say to explain this away, but he… can’t. He thinks he honestly might pass out as his vision blurs and starts to go dark. 

The video Magnus is showing him is on a constant loop, only seven seconds or so, but it’s very clearly him. Sure, Isak’s fallen victim to drunkenly filmed Snapchats of not his proudest party moments, but that’s nothing compared to this. 

It wouldn’t matter if the video was of Isak spilling beer on himself or totally effing up the winning beer pong shot. It also wouldn’t matter if it was a video of him drunkenly falling over and busting open his elbow. 

This… this is Isak’s death sentence. 

Isak tears his eyes away after the fifth time through watching himself kiss Even under the tree and forces himself to stand up, although he immediately regrets it as his legs wobble and the world spins violently. 

“I’m… I think I’m gonna be sick,” Isak grits out and dashes to the bathroom. 

Isak locks himself in one of the bathrooms and climbs into the shower, not thinking as he turns on the water, still fully dressed. The water is like ice, but it feels good on Isak’s flaming skin. All he can think about is _it’s done, I’m finished. I can never show my face again. It’s all over._

What sucks is that, from the angle it was shot, it’s so clearly Isak in the video, but Even was mostly covered in shadow, and without the wig and beard on, he’s just some non discriminant, but very clearly male, second party. Even gets out of this scott free, yet Isak is going to get publicly crucified. 

He’s not really sure how long he stays in the shower, but eventually he starts to shiver, which he doesn’t exactly realize until a knock on the door brings him back to his senses. 

“Isak?” 

It’s Jonas’s voice, Isak immediately recognizes, and it soothes him a little, when he registers how concerned Jonas sounds. 

Isak reaches up and shuts off the water and gets up on shaky legs. He realizes that he didn’t bring a towel with him, and he starts to shiver more violently as the cold air starts to hit him and his wet clothes cling to his skin.

“I… I forgot a towel,” Isak says dumbly. 

“I’ll bring you one,” Jonas calls and Isak steps out of the shower to wait at the door, wrapping his arms around himself as he creates a growing puddle on the floor from his dripping clothes. 

Jonas knocks on the door again, and Isak opens it, gratefully taking the fluffy towel he immediately recognizes as one of Jonas’s and wrapping it around himself. 

Jonas doesn’t comment on Isak still being fully dressed, he just looks at him with eyes full of concern. Isak licks his lips, not really sure what to say, but he’s thankful Jonas knows not to press. 

“Thanks for, um, the towel,” Isak says and pushes past Jonas to head back to his room, though he pauses outside the door. “Is Magnus…?”

Jonas shakes his head, understanding the question without Isak having to fully ask it. “He’s back in his room.”

Isak nods, but he doesn’t go in yet, not really sure how to ask for what he needs, not really sure what he needs. 

Jonas, sweet, clever, beautiful Jonas _just gets it_ though, and says, “I’ll be right here, man. Get dressed and I’ll bring you up some toast and coffee.”

With that, Jonas turns and walks down the hall to the stairs and Isak sighs gratefully and finally walks into his room. Isak carelessly drops his wet clothes in a pile on the floor and grabs his comfiest sweats and hoodie and throws them on before climbing back into bed. 

Jonas comes back in, toast in one hand and steaming coffee in the other. He hands both to Isak who thanks him and then goes back to close the door before climbing into bed with Isak. Isak eats his toast in silence and then starts sipping his coffee. 

Jonas waits patiently, just pulls out his phone and plays Candy Crush until Isak is ready to talk. Isak knows Jonas would wait here with him all day if he needed him to, but he doesn’t really want to monopolize his whole day. 

“So…,” Isak starts, but then doesn’t really know where to go from there.

Jonas closes his game and turns so he’s more oriented to Isak, but still doesn’t pressure him. Isak drains the rest of his coffee and then sets the mug on the floor. When Isak sits back up, he still doesn’t know what to say, but he looks at Jonas, and he smiles at him and Isak breaks. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” Isak says quietly, looking down at his lap. “I’ve been… I’ve been lying to you… to everyone…”

“Isak, you don’t have to apologize,” Jonas says. 

“I do, though,” Isak says. “I am so scared about what could happen if everyone knew…I just… I don’t know.”

“It doesn’t change anything, you know that deep down, right?” Jonas says. “The people who are really your friends aren’t going to care. I’ve got your back. If anyone says anything, I’ll kick the shit out of them.” 

Isak smiles for the first time that morning and then scrubs his hand over his face. “I was so stupid.”

“Don’t say that,” Jonas says.

“It’s true, though! I really thought that pretending to date Emma would protect my reputation. I was fine until I met… until I met someone I really actually had feelings for,” Isak says. 

“What’s his name?” Jonas asks, smiling. 

“Even,” Isak says, unable to fight his own smile.

“The blonde Kappa guy?” Jonas asks. 

“Yeah,” Isak nods. 

“He’s very handsome,” Jonas says and Isak laughs.

“The fuck?” 

“Bro, I don’t know,” Jonas says. “Is he… is he good to you?”

Isak frowns, then shrugs. “He’s… got a girlfriend.”

“Technically, so do you,” Jonas points out and Isak rolls his eyes. 

“His is real though. Like, they’ve been together forever and he actually really likes her. I’m worried… I’m worried he’s going to chose her over me,” Isak admits.

“I mean, he’s got to break up with her. He’s an idiot if he doesn’t,” Jonas says.

Isak smiles and playfully shoves Jonas. He wants to ask about the video, but he’s scared to know any more details about it. Jonas must read his mind though and shakes his head. 

“You’re bound to find out, and it’s probably best if I just tell you,” Jonas says slowly, carefully. “Emma posted it. She put it on Snapchat and it’s pretty much made the rounds through every sorority and frat at this point. It’s decidedly been pointed out that it’s you in the video, though nobody knows who the other person is.”

“Okay,” Isak says, taking it in and nodding. “I guess it’s done then.”

“I guess so,” Jonas says. 

Isak gets up, ready to continue ripping off the bandaid and picks up his phone. He’s surprised that there’s not a flood of messages, instead, just two messages from Emma. 

_Thanks for telling me you’re gay. It’s 2018, Isak. Get out of the closet._

_If it wasn’t clear already, we’re done._

All Isak wanted was a message from Even. 

“Thank you,” Isak says, it’s quiet, but honest.

Jonas just nods and gets up, Isak understanding Jonas doesn’t want to overstay his welcome. Isak stops him though, not ready to be alone just yet. 

“Do you want to stay a bit? Play some FIFA?” Isak asks.

“If my play you mean kick your ass, then I’m in,” Jonas says with a soft laugh and Isak smiles, rolling his eyes as he gets the game setup.

And it’s like for the next three hours, nothing from the previous night happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> like I was saying at the start of this chapter, I hope Isak doesn't come off too ooc (I mean, this is an AU fic, so...). I've never dealt with anything like this irl, so I'm not really confident in how I wrote it, but you all can be the judge of that!
> 
> Also, dammit Even. He really needs to get Isak and make it all better ;)
> 
> spread some love in the comments section! :)
> 
> ~lovely vibes being sent your way~


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES.  
> One of my favorite scenes from the show is the end of ep. 7 in season 3 were boy squad is pregaming and helping Isak text Even. I HAD TO reprise that scene and include it in this fic :) bits and pieces are veeeery similar to the show, either from that particular scene or from other boy squad interactions, though it's all got a little of my own twist to it ;)
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> (also, there's another cliff hanger at the end so... #sorrynotsorry)

Chapter 6

Isak doesn’t hear from Even all week.

Overall, facing everything Monday morning is really not as bad as Isak had thought. He’d imagined what it would be like to be out, or to be _outed,_ and in every scenario, he never imagined it like this: _no one really cared._

Sure, Vilde and Eva were… weirdly excited about and and went a little unfiltered when they saw him Monday morning, but it wasn’t as painful as Isak thought it would be. 

Isak mostly went about his life like normal. 

And, maybe, now that he sat back and thought about it, maybe he was little more popular with girls now, like, females he didn’t even know were saying hi to him or inviting him to parties. 

But no one was outright mean to his face and that was completely unexpected and _so, so great._

Now, if only Isak could plan some sort of unexpected run in with Even so he could _talk to him_ then everything would be peachy.

**~*~*~**

It’s Friday, and most of Isak’s brothers are at a pregame hosted by the frat next door, but Isak, Magnus, Jonas, and Mahdi decided to stay back and have a pregame of their own. None of them will admit to it outloud, but there’s an unspoken agreement between them that they’d rather stay back and chill together than to participate in the shady activities that go on at the Theta house. 

Mahdi is in the middle of explaining to Magnus that _no, it was not okay for you to invite me to join in when I walked in on you and Vilde in the shower earlier,_ and _no, it’s not that I don’t feel comfortable naked in front of you some things are just **not okay, bro.**_

Isak smiles into his beer, half of his mind still on Even, as it’s been all week, and wondering why he hadn’t seen or heard from him and if he’s going to see him tonight at the Gamma party. Isak thought he was doing a good job disguising his inattention, but Jonas leans over and pulls him fully back to the present.

“You’re more distracted than normal,” Jonas says quietly, just to Isak. “Have you heard from Even?”

Isak shakes his head, turning his gaze to Jonas and shrugging. “We don’t, like, talk. So it’s not really all that abnormal. I was just kind of… I don’t know. Hoping I would. I think the whole video thing probably spooked him.”

“It’s still not really fair to you, though, to just leave you in the dark like this,” Jonas says, a bit louder now, and he unintentionally gets the attention of the other two.

“What are you two talking about? “Magnus asks, eyebrows wiggling curiously. 

Isak and Jonas exchange a look, and Jonas shrugs, conveying to Isak that it’s his story to tell, if he wants to. Isak sighs and decides he might as well come fully clean to them, seeing as he hasn’t really talked to Magnus or Mahdi about it yet. 

“So, I guess I haven’t really filled you in yet,” Isak starts, pausing to take a breath and look at both of his friends sitting across the table from him. “I mean, you obviously saw the video, but… I sort of had a thing with… with this guy… Even.”

“A thing?” Magnus asks, looking way too fucking pleased with himself.

“A thing, yeah,” Isak says. “Fuck, I don’t even really know, I guess. We met at the party we had a few weeks ago? He’s one of the Kappa guys that came.”

“A Kappa? Seriously?” Mahdi says, a sudden flash of anger on his face and Isak can’t help but roll his eyes. 

“It’s not like there really even is a rivalry anymore, Madhi, chill,” Isak says. “It’s mostly just old stories now.”

“Bro, it wasn’t all old stories when they TP’d the house the first weekend of school,” Mahdi says, voice tight with a hint of anger.

Jonas cuts in, “Allegedly.”

Mahdi rolls his eyes now, “Please, it was all over their Instagrams. They could not care less about getting caught. It’s all about rep and pride with them.”

“Even’s not like that, though,” Isak says, suddenly feeling a need to defend him. “He’s chill.”

“Whatever you say, man,” Mahdi says, shrugging. “If you like him and he’s good to you, I suppose that’s what matters.”

“He has a girlfriend, though,” Isak says, looking down and picking at the label on his bottle. 

“What?” Magnus chirps. “Are you kidding?”

“No,” Isak says, looking up briefly. “He was with her at the Halloween party right before we, um, were outside.”

“No shit! That’s hilarious!” Magnus says, squawking a laugh and earning himself three disproving glares. “What? You don’t find it funny that the dude is like, with his girl, then the next second goes outside and gets himself some action with the side piece?”

The boys all stare at Magnus until it clearly clicks in Magnus’s head.

“Fuck, sorry. I didn’t mean it like that! To be honest, I’m not really all that sure what I meant. I just… sorry,” Magnus says, trailing off. 

“It’s fine,” Isak says, taking a long pull from his drink and then setting it down. “I think it honestly might be over now anyways, so it doesn’t really matter.”

“What do you mean?” Mahdi asks. 

“I haven’t heard from him since he dropped me off after the party got broken up,” Isak says. “I think the video getting out might have freaked him out.”

“Look, if you want my advice,” Jonas says and Isak turns to him. “You have to kind of give him a little push. It’s not fair for him to just string you along.”

“Yeah,” Mahdi jumps in, nodding. “Lay it out for him and put some pressure on. That way you’ll know for sure. Like, if a girl I was fooling around with, nothing serious, gave me some sort of ultimatum, I would get anxious and have to act quick and give her an answer, you know?”

Jonas nods. “Exactly. Text him. Be like ‘hey bro cut the bullshit. If you want to be with me start acting like it’.”

“‘Hey, bro’?” Isak mocks and Jonas laughs. 

“You know what I mean, though,” Jonas says. 

Isak nods, picking up his phone and pulling up Even’s number (which they had finally exchanged outside the house when Even dropped Isak off on Halloween). Isak starts typing as the boys argue goodnaturedly about the best wording for the message.

_Hey, Even. It’s Isak. I’ve enjoyed hanging out with you, but I can’t keep doing this while you’re still with Sonja. Call me when you’ve broken up with your girlfriend._

“Done,” Isak says, dropping his phone with an air of finality onto the table. “I sent it.”

“What?” Magnus says in disbelief. “Fucking hell, that’s brilliant.”

“Good work,” Jonas says, nodding in approval.

They all sip their beers in unison and then are quickly interrupted by Isak’s phone vibrating. They all make some sort of noise in excitement, and Isak scrambles to read the new message. 

_Where are you? Can we talk?_

“It’s from Even,” Isak says, then repeats the message out loud. “I should call him.

Jonas makes a tisking sound with his mouth and shakes his head. “No. Here’s what you do. Tell him you’re chilling at home. You want him to call, but don’t want him to know that.”

Isak stares at Jonas for a moment, trying to figure out if he should trust his advice. Jonas nods, smiling as he brings his beer to his lips, his silent _trust me_ loud and clear.

Isak begins typing _chilling at home,_ fingers hovering over the emoji icon, but then he decides better not, and hits send. He sets his phone down again, turning his attention back to the boys and silently begs for a distraction.

Magnus immediately follows through, though Isak realizes he must have prayed to the wrong deity because the next words out of Magnus’s mouth make him instantly regret everything.

“So, like, when you say ‘you had a thing’,” Magnus says, complete with air quotes. “I don’t really know what that means.”

Isak fixes Magnus with a look and Magnus just shrugs. 

“What?” Magnus says innocently. “I need more information!”

 

Isak just stares for a moment, but when he notices the other two don’t jump to his rescue, he understands that they must be a little curious, too, they’re just not as blunt as Magnus. 

“Fine. We’ve hooked up. Twice,” Isak says, then takes another long drink.

“Again, more details,” Magnus says, pressing on. “Are we talking just making out, some over the pants action, blow jobs, full on sexy time, what?”

Isak rolls his eyes and feels his cheeks start to flame, but he figures he might as well just rip off the bandaid because Magnus will just bring it up again if he doesn’t get his answers now.

“We’ve had sex, yes,” Isak says. “Happy?”

“Very,” Magnus grins. “One more question, though. When you have sex, who’s the man and who’s the woman?”

“You know, Magnus, I could ask you the same thing,” Isak jibes back, earning cackles from the other two, but then he figures educating Magnus on the proper terminology might actually serve him some good. “Also, it’s not referred to as ‘the man’ and ‘the woman’. Many people don’t just stick to one roll of topping or bottoming.”

“Are you saying you’ve done both, then?” Magnus asks and Isak holds up his hands.

“I am not saying any more on the topic! I feel like I’ve already given you way too much information on my personal life,” Isak says. 

“Speaking of,” Mahdi says. “Any word?”

Isak remembers his phone then, and pulls up his messages, checking to see if there’s any sign from Even, but there’s nothing, not even the little writing bubbles.

“Nothing,” Isak says, putting his phone back down. 

Mahdi checks his watch and drains his beer before saying, “We should probably head over to the party anyways, it’s a bit of a walk and it sounds like the Theta pregame has died down.”

The other boys make some sort of sound of agreement and start cleaning up their empties. Isak joins in, though a little more sluggish as he tries to think of a solid reason why Even was so quick to respond the first time, and it’s like crickets after Isak’s second message. 

Jonas is just about to take the bag with their empty cans and bottles out back to the recycling when there’s a knock at the door. Magnus and Mahdi are getting their coats on, so Isak figures he should be the one to go see who it is. 

Isak walks to the front door, adjusting his snapback and stops in his tracks when he sees who it is. 

“Who is it?” Mahdi calls from the kitchen.

“It’s… Even,” Isak says, turning to look at the boys as a million thoughts and anxiety flood his brain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, but can you blame me for having a cliff hanger here? yes, you still can? ...oookay.
> 
> next chapter is currently being worked on, so hopefully that will be up in a few days! 
> 
> come yell at me in the comments ;)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow so this chapter is supper dialogue heavy, as you may or may not know, I am a sucker for writing characters talking about all the feelings. 
> 
> I'm thinking there will be 1-2 more chapters? then maybe a v brief epilogue since I like to have my longer fics end with a number of chapters divisible by 5 because #aesthetic 
> 
> I have a semi-plan for the last bit of this fic, but if you have any suggestions or things you want to see happen to/with these characters, feel free to let me know in the comments!

**Chapter 7**

“Well answer it!” Jonas says and without missing a beat, Magnus pipes in “Yes! We all want to meet him!”

Isak shoots him a glare, but then turns and opens the door. 

Seeing Even standing there, looking like _a fucking meal_ makes Isak a little weak in the knees. Even smiles at him, and Isak feels a little flip in his chest when he notices a hint of uncertainty in Even’s expression. 

“Halla,” Even says. 

“Halla,” Isak smiles back, afraid if he moves at all, the pure magnetism between them will draw them together and all hope of talking this through will be lost. 

Thankfully, or maybe not, Magnus comes up then, shiteating grin on his face. “So you’re Even, eh?”

Even slides his gaze from Isak to Magnus and smiles, holding out his hand. “I am.”

“I’m Magnus, Isak’s best friend,” Magnus says and Isak rolls his eyes. 

The other two join them then and Isak introduces everyone, watching as everyone is very chill and exchanges hand shakes and polite greetings. Even turns his attention back to Isak then, and Isak doesn’t really know what to say, but he opens his mouth anyways.

“So, um,” Isak starts and turns to Jonas for help.

“Yeah, we were just on our way out,” Jonas says. “Isak, do you want to just meet up with us later, then?”

“Or not,” Magnus says under his breath, though he wiggles his eyebrows to Isak. 

“Er, yeah, that sounds good,” Isak nods. “Have fun.”

They share quick goodbyes after that and Isak watches his three friends head down the front walk and down the street. He realizes as he watches them walk away, that Even is still standing outside and he should probably invite him in.

“Fuck, sorry, come in,” Isak says and steps aside to let Even come into the house. 

Even takes off his coat and shoes and Isak leads them silently up to his room, needing some familiar comfort. Even follows at Isak’s heels and Isak can almost feel Even’s own nerves now.

When they step into Isak’s room, he closes the door and sits down on his bed. He is immediately reminded of that first time Even was in here, how nervous he was then and how great it was once they got over the initial awkwardness and just _clicked._

“So,” Isak starts at the same time Even says. “I’m sorry.”

They smile at each other and Isak gestures for Even to go first. 

“Fuck, Isak, I’m so sorry,” Even says. “I… I’ve been so unfair to you, and I know that now. I probably knew it all along, but I didn’t want to admit it to myself. Sonja and I are… we’re done now. For good. After the video… she was willing to forgive me if it was just a one time, unthinking thing, but I told her I could not tell her it was. I explained that what I feel for you is not like anything I’ve ever felt before. She was crushed, she didn’t… she didn’t understand that. She… she always tried to control me and tell me what I feel, but… but she has no idea what goes on in my brain. No one does.”

“Only you can feel what you feel,” Isak says, nodding slowly. 

“I’m sorry I was so shitty to you,” Even says. “I wish we could have done all of this the right way from the start and that it didn’t get so messy.”

“It’s okay,” Isak says. “I’m out now, so at least there’s that. I… I never thought I’d be strong enough.”

Even smiles and scooches closer to Isak, placing one of his hands on Isak’s on the mattress. “You’re much braver than you think.”

Isak stares down at their hands, blushing a little. Isak looks up after a moment and is overwhelmed with the need to kiss Even. Just as he’s about to start leaning in, Even cuts him off. 

“I have to tell you something else,” Even says. “I want… I want to do this for real with you, and for that to happen, I have to be completely honest with you.”

Isak sighs, reigning himself back in and then nods. Isak turns his hand under Even’s and laces their fingers, giving Even’s hand a quick squeeze. 

“I have Bipolar Disorder. That’s part of the reason it was so hard for me to leave Sonja. She knew about it and how to handle it. She was good to me, but it just… I felt like she was constantly monitoring me. When you’re dating someone, you don’t want to feel like you’re constantly being watched and judged. It started to feel like more of a… patient-therapist relationship than a romantic one. I hated it. But at the same time, being with Sonja was safe. It was easy. I was scared to start over and I was afraid that…”

“That I wouldn’t be able to handle it?” Isak asks, voice small.

Even looks up at him, eyes sad. “It’s… it’s a lot to take on, Isak. I wouldn’t judge you at all if you didn’t want to be with me. It can be really scary and unpredictable. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.”

Isak processes for a moment, knowing that if he automatically just agrees, it will seem like he didn’t really think about it and isn’t taking this seriously. Even strokes his thumb over Isak’s palm and Isak lets his head fall to Even’s shoulder for a moment. 

“I’m in, Even,” Isak says after a few breaths as he weighs all aspects of this new information and lifts back up to look at Even directly. “I’m all in. I don’t care that you’re Bipolar. That doesn’t define you. You’re still the boy I fell for the first time I saw you. We’re going to be okay as long as we’re together.”

Even’s face broke out into a smile about halfway through Isak’s little speech and Isak can practically _feel_ how much Even just wants to kiss him senseless, and so he gives a little nod of consent and then Even’s drawing him in and kissing the life out of him.

They kiss for a bit, though their kisses are interrupted by soft giggles and they pull apart every so often to gaze at each other, like they don’t quite believe that the other is real. After what could be a few minutes or a few hours, Even pulls back fully and pets his hand over Isak’s cheek. 

“God, you’re so perfect,” Even says, voice just above a whisper. “I want everything with you.”

It really should scare Isak, the first time he really truly feels something for someone and it starts with such heavy things being said to him, but… it doesn’t. If anything, Isak feels reassured in feeling so head of heels for Even already.

“Me, too,” Isak whispers back, and then lays down on the bed, silently asking for Even to join him.

Even of course does, stretching out his long body next to Isak’s and rolling to face him. Isak also rolls on his side and smiles shyly at Even, feeling quite content to just lay here with Even forever. 

“I would like to propose something,” Even says as he traces a finger over Isak’s eyebrow and down his cheek and Isak hums for Even to continue. “I know we’ve already slept together, twice, but now that the air is clear between us, I would like to start over with you, do it right this time.”

Isak nods, thinking this over for a moment before asking, “Do you mean, like, if I were to… climb on top fo you right now and rip all my clothes off, you’d tell me no, that we should take things slow?”

Even rolls his eyes, but nods. “All I’m saying is that I want to take my time with you, now that I know I get to keep you. I want to take you out on dates and really get to know you. All that is just going to make it that much more special when we start having sex again. It’ll be much more intimate and… meaningful. It’ll come for a place of intimacy and trust.”

“Woah,” Isak whispers and he can’t really manage to string any other words together, so instead, he just kisses Even softly. 

“I’m very serious about you, Isak,” Even says. “I don’t want to mess this up by moving too fast.”

“Okay,” Isak nods. “I agree. We’ll go slow.”

Even smiles and opens his arms to Isak, who laughs and slides into the open space happily. They cuddle for a bit, breathing patterns syncing and Isak closes his eyes, nearly falling asleep despite the night still being relatively young. 

“Did you want to go that party?” Even asks after awhile. 

Isak lifts up a bit, resting his chin on his hands on top of Even’s chest to look at Even. “I’m down if you are.”

Even grins. “You’re ready to show me off?”

“Definitely,” Isak says, though he still feels a little twinge of anxiety at the thought of walking into a frat party holding hands with another boy. 

Even pecks a kiss to Isak’s lips and wraps his arms around Isak’s waist. “Baby steps, yeah? We don’t have to do anything couple-y if you’re not ready. We can just show up together, no need to make a scene, okay?”

Isak nods, then says quietly. “I would like to hold your hand, though. I think… I think that might be okay.”

Even nods and holds one of his hands up for Isak to slide his fingers into and gives it a squeeze. “Whatever you’re ready for, I’m in.”

Isak smiles and kisses Even again, then rolls over Even so they can get ready to go. Even gets the hint and they head downstairs together to get their shoes and coats on. 

As they head outside and start walking to the party, Isak takes Even’s hand in his and holds it tight, the anxiety swirling in his chest melting away from the warmth and security of Even’s hand around his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> suggestions/predictions/criticism/just want to say hi? yell at me in the comments
> 
> <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FIRST IM SORRY ITS BEEN SO LONG.
> 
> real life happened and I have no real excuse. 
> 
> second, I hope you enjoy this chapter! Only two more to go!

**Chapter 8**

Two weeks have passed, and everything is _good._ Like, really, _really_ good. 

Isak feels happy and confident, even, with his relationship and everytime he sees Even, he can’t fight the butterflies that swarm his chest. Even is absolutely perfect.

Isak spends as much of his time with Even as he can. They study together and eat meals together, but Isak makes sure he’s still spending time with his brothers for a couple hours before Even comes over again to lull Isak to sleep with cuddles and soft kisses. 

In other news, there’s a big party coming up on Friday, the Psi Upsilon karaoke party at the largest sorority house on campus. Everyone has been talking about it for weeks, but Isak wasn’t really excited about it until Even showed some interest in going. 

Sure, Isak was always going to go, you don’t just _not_ go to the biggest party of the year, but now that he has someone special to show off and drunkenly fool around with in the bathroom, Isak is actually very much looking forward to it. 

Isak and Even show up hand in hand, surrounded by Isak’s inner circle of friends. The party is just revving up when they arrive, and they blend right in with the crowd of already-buzzed party goers. 

Isak prefers to lay low for the first hour or so when he gets to a party, wanting his drunk to settle in and to survey the party for a bit before he joins in playing drinking games or, if he’s particularly hammered, dancing. It’s the same tonight, Isak hangs back and silently observes for a bit as Even goes in search of drinks. 

“You know,” Jonas says, leaning in a bit closer to Isak so he can hear him over the loud music. “I don’t know if I’ve told you this yet, but I’m really happy for you. Even is really great. You’re both really lucky.”

Isak blushes, looking down at his feet, “Thanks, man.”

“Yeah, I mean, it’s just really nice to see you happy and not all grumpy all the time. I honestly didn’t think it was possible,” Jonas teases and Isak’s head snaps up, glaring at him.

“No need to be rude, now,” Isak quips, and Jonas just laughs. 

Even returns then with Mahdi and Magnus, handing around beers for everyone before Even takes his place next to Isak, his arm casually slung over Isak’s shoulder. 

“So who’s going to be the first to share their talents?” Magnus asks. “We’ve got to get our names on the list now or we’ll never get a turn.”

“Fuck, no, bro,” Isak says, shaking his head. “No one is drunk enough here, including myself, for me to even consider getting up there.”

Magnus opens his mouth to protest when Even pipes up, “I’m game.”

Everyone in their small group turns to gape at him, Isak especially. Even just smiles and sips his soda, completely at ease. 

“But… you’re not even drinking…” Isak says. 

“Yeah, and why is that?” Magnus asks, always so blunt. 

Even just shrugs and squeezes Isak closer to him. “I don’t need to drink to enjoy a party and why on Earth would I pass up the opportunity to serenade this beautiful man right here?” 

Even shakes Isak a bit to emphasize his point and Isak blushes into his can of beer. 

“To answer your question honestly, though, Mags, I don’t drink because it messes with some medication that I’m on for Bipolar Disorder,” Even says like it’s the most simple thing to be talking about in the middle of a party.

“Oh,” Magnus says nodding. “My mom’s Bipolar, too. We should compare stories sometime.”

Even grins and Isak nuzzles a bit closer into Even’s chest, proud of him for being so honest and upfront with his friends. He knows it probably wasn’t as easy to share that information as he made it seem. 

“So, Even, I can go put your name in?” Mahdi says, looking between the group and over to the table where a trio of objectively beautiful girls are with the sign up list. 

“Go for it,” Even says, nodding. “Good luck.”

Mahdi shoots Even a grin and then drains his beer before walking over to chat up the girls. They pass some time chatting about random stuff before their girls show up and join them in a flurry of glitter and champagne. 

Vilde and Eva are already very drunk and hang on Magnus and Jonas before dragging them off to dance. Chris follows after them, dancing by herself yet looking like she’s having even more fun than they are. That leaves Noora and Sana to chat with Isak and Even, and Isak quickly realizes that he’s the only one in the small group drinking, and he better keep his mouth shut as he’s now well on his way to drunk. 

They talk for a while and Isak manages to not embarrass himself too bad, the only minor thing that happens is that Sana calls him out for staring at Even dreamily anytime Even opens his mouth to speak. 

Isak is about to defend himself when Magnus comes up suddenly and dramatically pulls Even away, cheering loudly that it’s Even’s _time to shine!_ Isak watches as Even climbs up on the makeshift stage and has a microphone shoved into his hands. 

Isak’s drunk brain can’t fully process what’s happening, the only part of it that seems to be connecting in his brain is that Even looks _damn fine_ up there. Then Even’s shooting him a wink and it takes all of Isak’s power to keep his knees from buckling. 

John Lennon’s _Imagine_ begins playing, because _of course,_ and Even begins to sway to the music before his deep voice fills the room and makes Isak definitely feel a certain kind of way that he can’t really describe as anything more than _warm and mushy._

Even’s regular voice is pretty deep, but his singing voice is like, _deep._ Isak hasn’t really heard him sing before, and it’s definitely doing something to him that he will have to analyze a bit more when he’s sober. He’ll definitely be asking Even to sing for him again, preferably when they’re much more alone.

Isak thinking about how he probably looks so creepy the way he can’t stop staring at his boyfriend, but then he notices Even’s expression change as he stops and stares at the door, blood practically draining from his face as he stops singing for a moment. 

Isak turns to see what’s drawn his attention and it takes a moment before he recognizes the group of boys as the ones Even had come to his party with the night they met. Isak is confused, he thought they were all friends, but… maybe not. 

Before Isak can think any better of it, he pushes through the crowd and joins Even on stage, squeezing in next to him and taking over singing, urging Even to continue. Even settles his attention back on Isak, and Isak feels instantly relieved as Even’s demeanor changes immediately as he focuses all of his attention back on Isak. 

They finish out the song with everyone at the party joining in and swaying to the music. The song ends with rousing applause and the boys take a bow after Even smacks a kiss to Isak’s cheek. 

They exit the stage hand in hand and Isak leads them out to the front of the house, wanting to talk and knowing that Even probably wants some air. Even doesn’t say anything for a moment, just walks a bit ahead of Isak and Isak watches him take a few deep breaths, giving him the space he seems to need by the way his shoulders shake as they move up and down. 

“Well, if it isn’t the elusive Even Bech Næsheim.”

Isak turns at the sound of an unfamiliar voice, something in the tone setting him on edge. Even turns, too, the same deer-in-the-headlights expression on his face from before. They’ve been joined by the group of five boys from Isak’s frat party, and Isak takes a step in front of Even, something about the looks on their faces making Isak go into defensive mode. 

“It’s good to see you’re okay, we thought maybe you fell off the deep end again since you’ve been MIA for the past few weeks,” The one with closely shaved hair says. 

The words by themselves show concern, but it’s the way the boy says them and the expression on his face that make Isak’s blood boil.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Isak says, stepping closer to them.

Another boy speaks up, one with long curtains of hair that fall into his face. “ I suppose it wasn’t a phase, then.”

And that makes Isak lose it. He lunges forward and starts throwing punches, not really thinking about how he’s one person taking on five others who, for the most part, are larger than he is. 

The next thing Isak knows, Even’s holding him up and he can hear the fight continuing, and through the dark he can see Jonas and Mahdi have joined him, still shoving and hitting the other group. Then Sana’s there, yelling at them to stop, and for some reason, they do. 

Isak holds his nose, and yep, that’s blood dripping down into his hand. There’s still yelling, though Isak feels like he’s going to pass out, so he can’t really focus on what’s being said. 

“I think we need to take you to the ER,” Even says, voice tight. 

Isak just groans in agreement, slumping more of his weight into Even. Magnus appears and takes Isak’s other arm to hold him up. The shouting has died down now, and Jonas and Mahdi join them.

“What the fuck just happened?” Jonas asks. “I typically like to know what I’m punching a guy for before I get into it. Who were those guys?”

“My brother and his friends,” Sana says, walking up to them with her hands shoved in her pant pockets. 

Everyone turns to her in surprise, and Isak starts to feel guilty. He suddenly remembers Sana mentioning she knew Even through her brother… Isak really shouldn’t drunkenly pick fights with strangers. 

“What did they say to you, Isak?” Sana says, voice tight. 

“I don’t… it wasn’t really what they said so much as how they said it,” Isak says, the throbbing in his nose making him dizzy. 

“It’s my fault,” Even says slowly. “I… I’ve sort of pulled back from them since… since I started dating Isak.”

Isak turns to look at Even, who won’t make eye contact with him. 

“We should get Isak to the doctor,” Even says, changing the subject. “I’m sorry, Sana.”

“Yeah, me, too,” Sana says and then she heads back into the party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh. I had to :)
> 
> also, currently spiraling in obsession with Love, Simon. I think I'm going to write a fic (or a hundred) about my pure puppy babies. Thoughts or ideas are welcome :)
> 
> drop a comment to fuel my inner narcissism


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyooooo here we go! Only one more chapter to go!
> 
> This one's super angsty and then fluffy and also kinda short... but I hope y'all like it anyways!
> 
> The final chapter should be up soon-ish and it will be smutty, so hopefully it's worth the wait, however long that may be! (see how vague that was? my writing motivation is so up and down lately)
> 
>  
> 
> ALSO side note. If any of you are fans of Simon vs. The Homosapien's Agenda or Love, Simon, I started writing fics in that fandom as well. (go read them, nudge nudge). Keiynan Lonsdale owns me.

**Chapter 9**

They didn’t talk as Isak got checked out, Isak because it hurts and Even because he’s too wrapped up in his own head to make any words come out. Jonas, Mahdi, and Magnus hang out in the waiting room while Isak gets examined. 

It turns out that nothing’s broken, but Isak will likely be sporting a black eye for a week or so. They prescribe something for the pain, but Isak tells them he probably won’t fill it. Even doesn’t ask questions or push, even though he definitely wants to. 

As they walk out into the waiting room, Even wants so bad to reach out for Isak and take his hand, but Isak just shoves his hands in his pockets and purposefully walks two steps ahead of Even. 

The group walks back to the boys’ frat house without really talking about anything more than Magnus sharing the stories Vilde’s been texting him to keep them informed about what happened during the rest of the party they missed. 

Isak heads directly upstairs when they enter the house and Even pauses for a moment, before trailing after him, quickly tossing a _‘thanks for coming with us,’_ to the others. When Even makes it to Isak’s room, Isak’s already stripping down and climbing into bed.

“I… I don’t really know what to say,” Even says, voice cracking a little from lack of use. 

“Then don’t say anything,” Isak says, covering his eyes with his forearm, voice tired. 

“But I think… I think we should talk,” Even presses, worry rising in him that if they don’t talk about it now, they won’t talk about it ever. 

Isak sighs and then rolls onto his side to look at Even tiredly, Even feels frozen where he stands, but he wants so desperately for all of this tension and awkwardness to melt away between them so they can just go back to being _Isak &Even. _

“Even, I’m exhausted and in a lot of pain. I just really want to sleep, okay?” Isak says, looking directly at Even for the first time in way too long. 

“Okay, I get that, I just… Is. There’s a lot I feel like I need to explain. I don’t… I don’t want us to go to sleep with all this… this shit hanging between us. I know it’s bothering you and I just… I want to clear the air so we can go to bed happy,” Even explains in jagged sentences. 

Isak watches Even carefully and then he just gives a small nod and scoots over on the bed. Even sighs in relief and then steps out of his shoes. Even also takes off his coat and then joins Isak on the bed, laying down on his side with his head propped up on his arm so he can see Isak properly.

“Um, so. I know that you’re probably wondering what all that was… why I was so… weird around those guys…” Even starts out, and Isak continues to stare up at the ceiling, not looking at Even. “Those guys… Sana’s brother and his friends… they’re my best friends, though I know it didn’t seem like that.”

“I remembered them,” Isak says after a minute. “From the night we met. You were with them when you arrived at that party.”

The _‘you were also with Sonja’,_ goes unspoken. 

“Yeah, um, we’ve had a bit of a… weird couple weeks. Pretty much since I started seeing you. And I don’t want you to think it’s like, because of you that we stopped talking. Don’t think they like, have a problem with you or with… me dating you…”

“Stop trying to guess what I’m thinking or feeling, okay? You can’t predict what’s going on in my head any more than I can yours,” Isak says, a bit snappy as he turns to look at Even sharply and it makes Even physically back off a little. 

Isak’s quiet for a minute, then he finally reaches out for Even, a simple hand on his bicep, but it’s the first contact they’ve had in ages. Even tries not to audibly sigh at the contact.

“I’m sorry. I just… This is all a lot to process and I don’t really know how I feel. It’s been a long night,” Isak explains. 

“I know, Is. I know,” Even says softly. 

They’re quiet for a few moments, both caught up in their own heads. Even watches Isak carefully as he picks at a fraying edge of one of his blankets. 

“To be honest, I’m embarrassed,” Isak finally admits quietly. “I… overreacted and _attacked_ someone… one of your _friends_ because… what? I was jealous? I don’t even really know. I just… I got so _defensive_ and I felt like I had to… like, I don’t know. Defend your honor or some shit? I don’t really know what was happening but I couldn’t stand them talking about you in what felt like such a negative way and I just… lost it.”

“Baby....” Even says before he can stop himself and Isak blushes at the pet name, shyly making eye contact with Even.

“I just… I feel stupid,” Isak says. “I’ve never felt the need to be a ‘tough guy’ and tonight I acted like such a douche for practically no reason.”

“It’s okay, Isak. Really,” Even says. “Everyone’s okay, and I’ll meet up with the boys tomorrow and we’ll work everything out. It’s my fault anyways that they were acting like that. I should be the one apologizing.”

“What do you mean?” Isak asks. 

“This is what I was trying to say before…,” Even starts and then pauses to take a shaky breath. “I started… pulling away from them when we got together because… because I was being dumb and was afraid they wouldn’t like me anymore. Last year I had a Bipolar episode and I tried to kiss Mikael and it was… it was really bad. I just… Mikael didn’t take it too well and we got past it because it was just kind of blamed on my Bipolar and we didn’t really talk about it. I was afraid that if I actually started dating someone… a boy… that they wouldn’t take it well. I was worried they would just think I was having another episode and that I was sick again. I know how stupid that sounds, like, they’re my friends and I’m still the same person I was… they should love me no matter what… but I still just panicked and decided to just make it easy and pull back.”

“I get it,” Isak says. “I used to feel that way around my friends, too. Coming out is scary.”

“Yeah. I just… I’ve always been so okay with who I am. I hated that I was suddenly feeling so cowardly about it and you make me _so happy,_ Is. You have no idea. I want us to work.”

“We do work,” Isak says with a smile. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Me neither,” Even says, smiling back, finally feeling some of the tension dissipating.

“As good as all this talking has been,” Isak says, rolling his eyes a little. “I really am exhausted. Can we sleep now?” 

“Definitely,” Even says. “I’ll make you breakfast in bed in the morning.”

“God, you’re too much,” Isak laughs, then he scoots closer to Even, voice dropping to a more shy tone. “Will you hold me?”

“Of course, baby,” Even says and he opens his arms to Isak, who fits in them perfectly.

“Even?” Isak asks after a moment.

“Yeah?” Even asks, opening his eyes and trying to fight the sudden tiredness.

“I love you,” Isak whispers and Even can feel him holding his breath.

“I love you, too, Isak,” Even whispers back.

“Okay,” Isak says, and Even smiles as he feels Isak begin to breathe normally again. “Good night, Even.”

“Night, Is,” Even says back, unable to fight the huge grin on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think!
> 
> As always, sending love and happiness to all of youuuu <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man it's finally here!   
> First of all, I'M SORRY this took so long. It's been a crazy summer with insane writer's block which sucks, but what can you do.   
> Secondly, THANK YOU to everyone who has stuck with this story and has sent me encouraging messages :) They truly have helped me come back and finish this fic   
> Finally, I hope you enjoy the final chapter of this fic! I've enjoyed writing this fic a lot, so I hope everyone who has read it has liked it as well
> 
>  
> 
> (sidenote: a scene in this chapter is almost word for word from season 3, you'll know it when you see it ;) just thought I'd throw it out there and give credit to the brilliant script writers. Those words are not my own)

**Chapter 10**

A few months pass and Isak has never felt so safe and secure in anything in his life. After the karaoke party that ended with a trip to the ER, Isak and Even have been closer than ever. 

Dropping the ‘L’ bomb maybe (read: _definitely_ ) had something to do with it.

For the record, Isak had really never been one for anniversaries, he honestly hadn’t even been keeping track of how long they’d been together, but then one Friday night Even’s showing up with flowers and and a mischievous grin on his face. 

“Wha-- why?” Isak laughs, feeling suddenly self-conscious in his old hoodie and ratty jeans. 

Even just smiles and drops a kiss to Isak’s cheek. “I knew you’d probably not realize this, but today is our six month anniversary.”

“No,” Isak says, surprised. “Are you serious?” 

“No joke, babe,” Even says, handing Isak the flowers and dropping a kiss to his cheek. “I know anniversaries are not really your thing, but I did have an idea of something special to do night.”

“I just want to be with you,” Isak says, softly, stepping into Even’s space. 

“I know, baby,” Even says, wrapping Isak in his arms. “Are you ready to go?”

“Is what I have on okay?” Isak asks, looking down at his outfit. “I assume you’re not going to tell me where we’re going.”

Even grins dubiously and then nods. “You’re fine. To be honest, you won’t have it on for every long.”

“Oh,” Isak says, suddenly feeling flushed. 

“Yes,” Even says, wiggling his eyebrows. “Let’s put these in some water in your room, yeah? Then we can head out.”

“Okay,” Isak says. 

So they do, and five minutes later they’re on their way. It’s getting dark already, and it surprises Isak that he didn’t realize how late it was. They walk through campus for a bit, enjoying the springtime blooming around them. 

It also feels good just to hold hands and walk around in public, something Isak never thought he’d be able to do with the person he loved. 

They walk until they’re outside the rec center. Isak is confused at first because, yes, they had definitely gone to work out together before, but its 21:00 and they are not dressed to do that right now. 

Even just grins as he gets the door for Isak and they head inside. Even gets out his student ID and Isak does, too, so they can swipe in. They make it all the way to the locker room before Isak cracks and needs to know what is going on.

“So, what exactly are we doing?” Isak asks as Even leads them through the locker room.

“I fancy a swim. What about you?” Even says, pushing open the door to the pool.

“Ev, the sign clearly says that to pool’s closed,” Isak whispers, grabbing Even’s wrist and stopping him.

“It’s fine,” Even says. “Promise.”

“I don’t have a swim suit,” Isak says, even quieter as Even pulls Isak into the muggy pool room. 

Even just gives Isak a look and begins stripping down to his boxers. Isak watches him, half shocked, half turned on. Even’s stepping out of his jeans by the time Isak has enough wherewithal to start slipping off his layers as well. 

“Are we really doing this?” Isak asks and Even just nods. 

“Relax, don’t worry,” Even says, pulling Isak in for a soft kiss. “Why are you so skeptical?”

“I’m not skeptical… it’s just a bit weird that we’re going to….” Isak says trailing off at the end as he glances at the inviting pool.

“Are you scared of swimming?” Even jokes, eyebrows raising in challenge. 

“Scared of swimming?” Isak replies, voice raising in pitch.

“Yeah. Or like, have a fear of water that I don’t know about?” Even teases, grabbing for Isak’s waist.

“A fear of water?!” Isak squeaks indignantly, squirming a little in Even’s arms.

“Oh, I know what it is. You’re just scared to fuck up your hair,” Even whispers and Isak basically snorts. 

Isak laughs and then runs a hand through his hair, but the fight is slowly leaving him as he falls pliant in Even’s embrace. “Does it look like I care about my hair?”

“Not right now, but usually it does,” Even says softly and Isak rolls his eyes. 

They’re standing pretty much right by the edge of the pool and when Isak looks down, he gets an idea. Next thing Isak knows, he’s wrapping his arms around Even’s shoulders and throwing them both into the pool. 

Isak resurfaces first and it takes him a moment to realize that Even is still under water. He is just about ready to start to panic when Even pops up dramatically. 

“Did you think I died?” Even asks, shit-eating grin on his face as he swims closer to Isak.

“Yeah I was so scared,” Isak says sarcastically. 

‘You know, you suck at holding your breath,” Even says, feet brushing against Isak’s legs under water. 

“I suck? Try it yourself,” Isak replies.

“Are you challenging me?” Even asks, hand finding Isak’s waist again and giving it a playful squeeze. 

“I’m the master at holding my breath, among other things,” Isak says, voice low as Even pulls Isak against him. 

“Show me,” Even whispers, low and deep. 

“O-okay,” Isak says, voice shaky like it always becomes when Even gets in his space like this. 

Isak wants so badly to kiss Even, and Even is practically begging for it, but instead Isak plugs his nose and ducks under the water. He has full intention to stay under until his lungs are burning, but he feels his throat itch after only a few seconds and he forces himself up again.

“Wow. You never cease to impress,” Even jokes. 

“I got water in my lungs!” Isak chokes out around a series of almost painful coughs. 

“Yeah, sure,” Even says, a silver of concern in his eyes, but none in his teasing tone.

“I swallowed water!” Isak protests, swimming closer so he’s pressed against Even, backing him against the side of the pool. “Do you not believe me?”

Even watches him for a moment, eye darting down to Isak’s mouth, and Isak grins triumphantly and having distracted Even. Even blinks a few times and then reaches up to delicately place one of his hands on the back of Isak’s neck. 

“Should we go again? At the same time?” Even offers. 

“Fine. Count of three?” Isak says, leaning in dangerously close to Even’s mouth. 

“One,” Even says, voice breathy and soft.

“Two,” Isak adds, voice equally affected.

“Three,” They say together and then both slide under the water. 

Isak opens his eyes immediately, searching for Even in the well lit pool. Even’s eyes meet his, and he reaches out for Even almost on instinct. Even’s hand reaches out, like he’s going to grip Isak’s, but instead he pushes forward and playfully squeezes at Isak’s neck. 

Isak grimaces and tugs Even’s hand off. If he’s going to play dirty, two can play at that game. 

Isak forces himself forward, moving quickly to keep the element of surprise as he crowds close to Even and kisses him. Even falls into it immediately, body gliding through the water to meet Isak’s. 

Isak doesn’t stop at a mere kiss though, and in seconds he’s slipping a hand down Even’s body and into the front of his boxers. Even gasps (as much as one can underwater) and sends them both back up to the surface, Isak trailing Even by a second. 

“Ha!” Isak cheers victoriously. 

“That’s cheating!” Even coughs.

“Definitely not,” Isak says innocently. “I won.”

“Are you sure about that?” Even says, pulling Isak against him, making Isak gasp when he feels how something so small has dramatically affected Even. “I think we need to go again.”

“Or, we could…” Isak trails off, leaning in, open mouthed. 

Isak pauses before meeting Even’s mouth, taunting him, testing to see if he’ll break first. Even takes the bait and hauls Isak in for a filthy kiss. Isak wraps his legs easily around Even’s middle, forcing him to tread water to keep them both afloat. It also allows for Isak to rut against him, the friction delicious. 

Things are close to getting very X-rated when a bright light is shown right into Isak’s eyes, making him jolt back. 

“Pool’s closed, gentlemen,” The burly security guard says. “Please come out. Now.”

Isak extricates himself from Even, panic rising in him at being caught. Isak looks at Even and sees equal panic in his eyes, but he knows he’s got a plan forming. Even gives the slightest of tilts with his head and Isak can almost read his mind. Their clothes are on the opposite side of the pool from the security guard, right near and emergency exit.

Isak nods to Even and they make a break for it. Despite being in water over their heads, they move quickly to get out of the water and scramble for their clothes, dashing for the exit, all while the guard is yelling at them to stop. 

They manage to make it outside, immediately hit with the chilly evening air, making Isak curse loudly and slow for a moment. Even grabs his hand and yanks him along, hissing that they need to move faster. 

They practically full out sprint the entire way back to the frat house, giggling and freezing the entire way. They don’t stop until they’re safely behind the front door, both leaning against it and panting heavily. 

Thankfully, none of the brothers are home, or at least none are in the main living room, because they would definitely be getting some looks right now for showing up soaked and out of breath in just their underwear. 

“I think we need a shower,” Even says, scooping Isak up by the waist and bringing him to his chest, taking in the way he’s shivering and his teeth are chattering. “Need to warm up a bit.”

Isak nods, snuggling Even for a moment before his physical needs win out and he pulls them upstairs to one of the bathrooms. Isak gets out two towels and then pauses after getting the water turned on. 

“Um, so did you… want to shower together or…?” Isak asks softly, suddenly shy despite their very much physical history.

“If you’re comfortable with that, baby, I am,” Even says, kissing Isak on the forehead. 

“Mmm, are you going to be able to handle the temptation of being all steamy and naked with me?” Isak asks, giving Even his best teasingly sensual look.

“Probably not,” Even says and Isak raises his eyebrows at him. 

“Are you… are you saying… um. Are you okay with that?” Isak asks. 

They hadn’t really been all that intimate yet since they officially got together with all the clean air between them and everything out in the open. Isak was okay with that, liked that Even was treating him like some precious thing that needed to be savored and respected. 

But at the same time, he misses sex so much. 

“Iss, I love you so much. I’m ready if you are,” Even says soft, voice dripping with a gentle sweetness Even reserves just for Isak.

“Woah, um, yeah,” Isak says, suddenly feeling like putty at the way Even’s looking at him like he’s the most important thing in the world, like he’s the only thing that will ever matter to him.

“I’m not going to lie and I’ll admit that I was hoping that was were we would take things tonight. Granted, the whole getting busted and being chased by a security guard was not in my plans, but I was hoping that we could spend some uninterrupted alone time together getting reacquainted,” Even explains and Isak feels his cheeks heat up. 

“I love you,” Isak says, smiling because every time he says it it gets easier to admit outloud. 

“I love you, too, baby boy,” Even says. “Now, shall we?”

Isak nods enthusiastically and steals a quick kiss before he drops his briefs and climbs in the shower. Even follows suit and joins Isak under the warm spray that’s already created a big cloud of steam in the tiny bathroom. 

Isak can’t help but admit that the whole scene is already getting to him.

It doesn’t take long for them to fall into each other. Like back at the pool, they both sort of hold back, gently teasing and waiting to see who will break first and give in to what they clearly both want and have been waiting for for so long. 

Eventually, it’s Isak who cracks first, backing Even against a sidewall in the tiny, stall-like shower and kissing him with everything he has. Even welcomes it immediately, kissing him back with just as much enthusiasm and force. 

Instead of wasting time with typical shower jobs - shampoo, body wash, etc - Isak instead focuses all of his energy on getting reacquainted with all of the soft spots of Even’s body, all the parts that make him squirm and moan in the best way. 

Even must figure two can play at that game as he also starts exploring Isak’s body with his long, skilled fingers, making Isak fall against him, pliant and ready for whatever Even has in store for him.

Even’s running his fingers up and down Isak’s back, like he’s committing each notch of his spine to memory, and then he’s dipping his fingers between Isak’s cheeks, making Isak immediately change his stance and spread his legs apart. 

Even doesn’t say anything, just continues to move his fingers very purposefully over Isak’s sensitive skin, teasing over his hole and taint. Isak starts whimpering, mouth open and head falling back as Even continues to have his way with his body. 

They’ve only been in the shower under the warm spray for probably two minutes, but already Isak can feel Even’s hard and throbbing against his leg. Isak is not in much different of a state, and he really just wants to get Even back in his room and get to the really good stuff. 

“Ev,” Isak tries, voice high and gaspy. 

“Ah ah,” Even scolds, hand gripping Isak’s ass firmly, making Isak whine. “I’m not through with you yet.”

“Evy, please,” Isak whines, but that just earns him a gentle smack on the ass. 

“Patience, baby,” Even purrs, kissing along Isak’s neck and licking up the water droplets collecting on his collarbones. “I want to make sure you’re nice and clean for me so I can eat you out later.”

Isak falls into Even’s chest with a moan at that, giving into whatever Even wants to do to him. Even, to his credit, is quick about it, and he’s gentle as he cleans and preps Isak for what he has in mind for later. Isak tries not to think about how this is such an intimate act to let Even touch him like this. Isak thinks he really likes it, though. 

By the time Even’s turning off the water, Isak is needy and just so ready to go. Even grabs their towels and wraps Isak in one after wrapping his own loosely around his waist. Isak smiles at Even warmly as Even rubs the towel over Isak’s skin, drying him off. 

“Evy, please,” Isak practically begs. “I need you to take me to bed.”

“I can do that, baby,” Even says. 

Even takes Isak’s hand and they hurry out of the bathroom, not wanting to get caught leaving together both with just a towel on. When they get in Isak’s room, Even immediately gets Isak pressed up against the door, claiming his mouth in a feverish kiss. 

Isak buries his hands in Even’s wet hair as Even grips Isak’s ass, loosening the towel around his waist which drops to the ground when Even lets go in favor of Isak’s waist. Isak wants so badly to just crawl under Even’s skin and stay there forever. He’ll settle with just getting Even inside him.

“Ev,” Isak begs, forcing Even off his neck. 

Even hums as he goes back to sucking a promising bruise into Isak’s collarbone, clearly in no hurry. Isak is getting more impatient, not sure what will finally make Even break and take him to his bed. 

Isak tries again, tugging on Even’s hair harshly, this time getting Even to straighten up and look at him. Isak smiles and cocks his head towards his bed, making Even roll his eyes, but nod. Isak lets out an excited noise and pulls Even to the bed, pulling Even’s towel loose in the process. 

“God you’re so fucking hot,” Isak groans as Even climbs on top of him. “I want you so bad.”

Even grins and kisses Isak again like he can’t go more than a few second without his mouth on him. Isak gives in, happy that they’re on the bed now and wraps his arms and legs around Even’s body, holding him in place. 

Even pulls back and looks at Isak, steady and sure as he says, “You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, inside and out.”

Isak doesn’t know how to react, his cheeks burning under the sincerity in Even’s gaze and he starts to squirm a little under the attention. Even smiles and begins dropping kisses down Isak’s chest as Isak threads his fingers through Even’s damp hair. 

Isak assumes Even’s going to blow him, happy to get some attention on his aching cock, but instead Even lifts Isak’s legs by the backs of his thighs and presents himself with a much more intimate part of Isak’s body. 

“Fuck,” Isak curses, settling into a position where he can more comfortably give Even himself.

“Are you okay with this?” Even asks, fingers rubbing gently over the sensitive skin on the inside of Isak’s thigh. 

“Definitely,” Isak says. 

Even doesn’t say more, just dives right in and starts licking over Isak’s hole. It’s slow at first, delicate and soft brushes of his tongue like he’s trying to let Isak get used to the sensation. That’s over quickly though, almost like Even can’t help himself, and then he’s placing his lips over Isak’s hole and sucking.

Isak has never felt anything like this before and is a mess from the beginning, all broken moans and wriggling limbs. Even tries to hold Isak’s legs steady, but eventually gives up and just drops his legs over his shoulders and leaves them there. 

Even alternates between swirling his tongue and pointing it, pressing into Isak’s hole, teasing him mercilessly. Isak thinks he could definitely come like this, if given a few more minutes, but that’s not the point of tonight, so regretfully, he stops Even.

“Even, gonna come,” Isak says, high and needy. “No more.”

Even gives one final suck to Isak’s rim and then lifts up, a devilish grin on his face as he wipes his mouth on the back of his hand. Isak seriously almost comes from the sight. 

“Think you’re good from that and the shower prep? Or do you want my fingers?” Even asks, getting up from the bed to get lube and a condom. 

“I’m okay,” Isak says, reaching around his leg to test himself out with a few spit-slick fingers.

Even rejoins Isak on the bed and Isak slips his fingers out of himself, wiping them on the sheets. Even smiles at Isak, running his fingers lovingly over his cheek before he reaches for the condom and gets it open. 

Isak watches as Even gets the condom on and lubes himself up before squeezing another generous amount on his fingers and taking a quick moment to work three fingers into Isak, just to make sure. Isak gives Even a moment before he’s swatting his hand away and pleading with him to _get on with it._

Even rolls his eyes, but kisses Isak anyways. Isak holds Even to him for a moment while Even gets into position, careful not to break the kiss. Isak licks into Even’s mouth greedily, so happy that this is finally happening. 

“Do you want me like this?” Even asks and Isak nods. 

“I want to me able to see you and… kiss you,” Isak says shyly and Even just smiles, dropping another kiss to his lips. 

They kiss for another moment until Even lifts enough to see what he’s doing as he starts to press in. Isak focuses on staying relaxed, and it helps that Even kisses down his neck and chest to distract him. 

When Even’s all the way in, Isak wraps his legs around Even’s waist, hooking at the ankles and brushes Even’s hair from his eyes. Even watches Isak carefully before he pulls out, slowly pushing back in like he’s testing the waters. 

“I’m good,” Isak says and Even kisses Isak again.

Even starts thrusting in earnest then, giving Isak exactly what he needs. Isak, to his benefit, moans scratches his nails down Even’s back, unable to do anything other than be completely at the mercy of Even.

“Feel so good, baby,” Even says. “Love hearing you fall apart.”

“Ev,” Isak moans when Even thrusts just right to hit his spot. “Harder.”

Even grins wickedly and pushes himself up on his hands to double his efforts, fucking into Isak harder and faster. Isak feels his eyes rolling back in his head and he wants nothing more than to live in this moment forever. 

“Fuck, babe, I’m gonna come,” Even says through gritted teeth. 

“Make me come first,” Isak pleads, eyes finding Even’s in a challenge. 

Even smirks and draws Isak in for a kiss, one hand on his neck the other snaking down to wrap around Isak’s leaking cock. Isak surrenders and lets himself teeter on the edge for a moment before he warns Even he’s about to come.

“Almost there,” Isak moans. “Fuck, kiss me.”

Even obliges and kisses Isak filthy and deep, tongue delving into his mouth. Isak moans into it, nails digging into Even’s shoulders as he starts to come. Isak is pretty sure he makes a very embarrassing noise as Even continues to fuck the come out of him. 

“F-fuck, don’t stop,” Isak begs, trying to prolong his orgasm as long as possible. 

“Never,” Even says. “I’m so close.”

Even gives two more solid thrusts and Isak can feel it when he starts to come. Even’s thrusts get shaky, his body convulsing with the force of his own orgasm as he comes inside Isak, gasping and cursing into Isak’s neck.

It takes a few moments for them to calm down, Even pressing sloppy kisses to Isak’s heated skin and murmuring sweet nothings in his ear. Isak feels so happy and sated, tingly zings still running down his spine when he shifts even the slightest and can still feel Even hot and heavy inside him.

Even eventually pulls out making Isak whine so he kisses along Isak’s jaw to distract him. Isak hates this part, hates that it’s over. Even gets up and disposes of the condom, coming back to bed with tissues and he begins cleaning Isak up.

After throwing the tissues on the ground, Even cuddles next to Isak, pulling a blanket over them and snuggling close. They lay there in the afterglow for awhile, happy and complete. Isak traces over Even’s cheek and lips, smiling when Even sucks his fingertip between his lips. 

“You make me so happy,” Isak whispers. 

“I love you, baby boy,” Even whispers back. “Happy anniversary.”

“Happy anniversary,” Isak says, smile so big.

They fall asleep soon after that, warm and safe in each other’s arms. 

**~*~*~**

When Isak wakes up in the morning, there’s a tray with breakfast food and a tiny bouquet of dandelions next to his bed. Isak snickers a bit at the flower choice, but then he notices the card and picks it up. 

_Since the Dandelion can thrive in difficult conditions, people say the flower symbolizes the ability to rise above life’s challenges. You, my sweet Isak, are my dandelion boy. I love you, baby boy. I’ll see you soon to walk you to class._

Isak can’t fight the stupid grin on his face, and he can’t really help the way it sticks on his mouth as he eats and gets dressed. As he’s about to leave, Isak pauses and then takes one of the dandelions and tucks it behind his ear, a small way, he thinks, to show Even he appreciates his gesture. 

When Isak opens the front, door, Even is standing there waiting for him, grinning warmly. He greets him with a soft kiss and then takes his hand, starting their journey across campus.

As Isak walks through the beautiful spring morning with the love of his life next to him, he can’t help but be so proud of himself. Maybe being Even’s Dandelion boy is a reputation he can finally be happy with and freely accept. 

Finally, an accurate representation of who he truly is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well I hope you liked it! 
> 
> leave a comment with feedback if you have a moment and tell me your favorite part or something that you liked/didn't like while reading. Anything you say will probably make me smile :)
> 
> Sending love and happy thoughts to all of you ~~

**Author's Note:**

> come yell at me in the comments if you liked it/want more of this/just want to spread some love or say hiiiii
> 
> also, this fic has (hopefully) broken me out of a HUGE writing dry spell. Any encouragement to keep the writing train going would be much appreciated!
> 
> <3


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